Album Explored from honeyj

The (Remains of the) Hole in the Wall Gang

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Sun, 02 Aug 2026 20:08:52 +0000

honeyj has posted:

We headed into those rocks up ahead, Jake?
Yep. This here's gonna be our new hideout, Clem. That posse will never find us in these canyons.
Hope not. They're pretty good trackers, I hear.
We ain't a-gonna leave no hoof prints on these rocks, so let 'em try. We'll camp out in here for the night, make our getaway in the morning. Sound good?
Ok by me.
One thing, though, pardner I been meanin' to ask: what's that there fancy-lookin' gadget you got hanging off your saddle?
This here? Why it's a GPS device.
A what?
GPS. Global Positioning System. A veritable miracle of modern science and ingenuity!
What's it do?
Well, you see, this here little fella sends a signal to the low-orbit satellite, on account of which it always knows exactly where I am, anywhere on Earth. Yessir, it's positively foolproof and means I cain't never get lost.
You don't say.
Moreover, if someone needs to find me, well then,. . . uh, needs to. . . uh. . .find. . . me. . .
Are you sayin' what I think you're sayin', Clem?
Dammit, Jake! I reckon this ain't such a great hideout after all.
You know something, Clem? I miss the 19th century. I surely do.
Me too, pardner. Me too.

Working Class Hero

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Sat, 01 Aug 2026 04:41:50 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Hey Diego, What's up.
So, Edsel Ford, you know, Henry's kid? He wants me to paint some museum walls for him in the D.
Yeah? What's it gonna be?
I'm thinking it'll be about creating stuff from the fruits of the earth, Detroit industry, and the workers who make everything.
Sounds amazing. You think a big industrialist like him will go for art from a commie pinko like you?
We'll see, won't we. But my wife Frida, she likes the idea.
Ms. Kahlo is gonna be there too?
Oh yeah. She'll be painting her own stuff.
Great! Wouldn't it be nice if she makes it one day, like you have?
That would be very cool, yeah.
Kind of an unexpected bonus, like.
Yeah, maybe.

Personal Effects

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Tue, 28 Jul 2026 20:32:02 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Bad news, man. I've been evicted.
Damn, that's harsh. Moving is the worst.
You said it. Plus, I've accumulated so much stuff! I mean, it's unbelievable what's in here! And the thing is, I can't bear leaving any of it.
You're taking it all?
Yeah, I gotta.
Even. . . .Even this giant. . . thing?
Man, I gotta keep that! I've been through so much with it! It's like a part of the family!
Yeah, but, dude. How are you gonna get it out of here?
Drive it, of course.
Drive it? Does it even run?
You mean it might not? Don't even say that!
Ok, you didn't hear it from me. I'm sure it'll start.
Jesus! You had me worried there for a second!
It's in perfect shape. When, ah, when was the last time you fired it up?
Hmmm. Let's see. Who was president during Watergate?
What? It's been sitting here 50 years?
No man! I was just quizzing you! Only about 40! It'll be a snap, right?
Totally.

Dead Giveaway

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Sun, 26 Jul 2026 04:32:44 +0000

honeyj has posted:

They'll never find us here, Purvis.
You really think so?
All we gotta do is blend in with the neighborhood. We’ll be invisible!
Ok Mo. But I was meaning to ask something.
Yeah?
What’s that big, shiny, red thing sitting in the driveway?
Uh, that? That’s our. . . . uh. . . our getaway car. . . Oh. Right. I meant to put it in the garage.
That would be a good idea. I mean, it’s pretty invisible to me of course. But, I dunno, maybe not to all those potential witnesses who are, you know, ogling it. . . Where is this garage, anyway?
You mean, there isn’t one? Shit!
Great hideout you found us, Mo, ain’t it?
Yeah. Pretty great.
So. . . . are you thinkin’ what I’m thinkin?
Yeah.
Let’s get the fuck outta here.
Right behind you.

Cry Me a River

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Fri, 17 Jul 2026 03:42:03 +0000

honeyj has posted:

This is it, Pauley. This is THE place.
Place for what, Vince?
Our next business venture. It's gonna be dynamite.
You planning on blowing it up? Sounds good to me.
No you idiot! This'll be the new in place in town! They'll be lining up to eat out of our hands!
They're not gonna want to touch your hands in this dump. or anything else for that matter.
I know you want to invest.
No way. You think I'm gonna throw away money on this place, you're nuts.
Hey, I thought you was a friend.
A friend? Yes. A dumb schmuck? No.
I can't believe it. Another dream, destroyed by short-sighted greed and avarice.
Want my advice, pal? You need to get yourself a higher class of dreams.
Yeah, well maybe.

Creationism

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Thu, 16 Jul 2026 19:55:17 +0000

honeyj has posted:

How are you today, lord?
What's up, archangel?
It's about your people, lord.
Which people?
On Earth, lord. Remember it?
Yes. I was still experimenting with the creation thing back then.
Right. Well, it is becoming evident that the humans' time there is about up.
You think?
Yes. They've over-populated and stripped the planet with never-ending short-sighted greed.
Too bad for them. I gave them brains. Let them fix it.
But they can't agree on anything, lord.
Then they'll end up in the toilet, won't they?
What do you think about providing a little guidance?
Oh, ok. You can send a few messengers. Carry my word.
What should they tell humankind?
Just this: wise up or die. How's that?
Simple. Direct. Will they understand?
You mess with my trees, my lakes and rivers, watch your butt.
Yes, lord.
I am no supreme being to be fooled with, no way.
Of course, lord.
And only idiots crap in the bed in which they sleep. Now go. I'm busy working on a little 4th dimension thing.
Oh?
Yeah, they're gonna love it on Arcturus.
They will sing your praises, I'm sure.
Whatever. But those idiot humans? You tell them: they break it, they own it.
Yes lord.

Stake-Out

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Sat, 11 Jul 2026 15:37:51 +0000

honeyj has posted:

There he is. See him?
Where?
27th floor, 2nd window to the left.
Ok, gimme a sec. Hey, forget that guy. Check out the 28th floor.
Oh man, you're right! Forget the perp! Who is she?
I don't know, but I'm putting on a longer lens.

Like a Dog

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Fri, 10 Jul 2026 03:43:12 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Where you going?
It's time. I gotta go.
Whaddya mean? It's almost midnight!
Yeah. It's a full moon. They're waiting.
Who?
My wolfen brothers . . I mean my homies. I mean, oh forget it, you don't wanna know. Don't forget to lock the door.
You be back tonight?
Depends. If you think you hear dogs howling, just go back to sleep. It might not be, you know, dogs.
Howling? At what?
The moon. I mean, uh, how should I know?
Ok I guess. But, hey, aren't you going to wear shoes?
Shoes? Tonight? Nah. I don't need shoes.

Armored Division

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Tue, 07 Jul 2026 03:45:12 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Are you ready for a walk, Stanley?
I am, Edna, let's go.
Ok. I'll just put on my sandals.
Uh, actually, do you have work boots?
Work boots?
Preferably steel-toed. And a helmet.
To go for a walk?
It's just a suggestion, Edna.
Maybe I should grab a flak jacket too?
Armored, if you have one.
This walk sounds like it'll be dreamy.
That's one way to put it.

Back-Up

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Thu, 02 Jul 2026 20:50:58 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Does the bus stop here?
I really don't know.
Ok, I'll wait anyway.
I thought you'd say that.

Fifth Column

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Wed, 01 Jul 2026 17:12:46 +0000

honeyj has posted:

What's the latest on our American asset, Yevgeny?
He continues to follow our instructions, Vlad.
It's remarkable how reliable he's been all these years.
Especially given his, how shall I say it?
Complete lack of any redeeming qualities?
That's accurate.
A person so stupid as to think he's a genius?
That too.
Who ran for office just to stay out of jail; punish his enemies, and steal money?
Plus one more: to avoid destruction if we release what we've got on him.
Always a powerful incentive, eh, Yevgeny?
So powerful it works on his whole fucking family.
I know. You can't make this stuff up.

Illuminati

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Wed, 01 Jul 2026 05:34:44 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Dude. let's grab some java.
Can't man. I got a meeting to go to.
What meeting?
Don't tell anyone. I joined the Illuminati.
Never heard of 'em.
It's very secret. You know. Underground.
Yeah? And they let a slacker like you join?
I saw their ad on Facebook.
That sounds so. . . secret.
Very. Only cost me 100 bucks!
Is that all?
Yeah! Cool, right?
For sure.

Male Idiot Theory

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Sat, 27 Jun 2026 18:20:27 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Where have you been?
Oh, just exploring.
Abandoned ruins?
Well, yeah.
Not all alone, were you?
Sure. What could go wrong?
Nothing. Nothing at all.
Well, there was that time when I accidentally fell into a hole in the floor.
I remember.
And, of course, that other time, getting partially impaled on some rusty rebar.
Just bad luck.
Why are you interested?
I'm compiling data for my new theory.
Oh? What theory is that?
I think I'll name it after you.
A theory named after me? Awesome!.
You may not think so when you see it. Assuming you survive that long.

Extended Warranty

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Fri, 26 Jun 2026 05:48:40 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Thank you for your purchase, sir. I'm sure they will give you years of reliable service.
I'm excited to use them. Oh, by the way. How long is the warranty?
Well, let's see. What time is it?
It's 11:05.
How about that? Your warranty. . . just ran out! Have a nice day.

Comintern

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Wed, 24 Jun 2026 20:06:30 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Come with me, comrade.
Where are we going?
You've been summoned to appear before the Peoples' Commissariat of Non-Ferrous Metallurgy and Social Enlightenment. Finish your donut.
Summoned? Why?
is it true that you've installed an aluminum wind vane in front of your kommunalka.
You mean, my house? Yeah. So?
And affixed to this device, is there a colorful symbol of a certain Western comic strip character, often referred to by the assumed patronymic of "Snoopy?"
Well, yeah.
Be very careful, comrade. Some might see this as a subversive poisoning of the people's revolutionary ethic.
You don't say. Well, what if I replaced Snoopy with some other symbol, comrade? Say. . . Linus?
Well, that would make a difference. As I'm sure you know, Linus is a well-known anti-capitalist Hero of the Soviet Union. I believe the Committee would look favorably on such a change.
Great!
It might even mitigate the terms of your re-education.
My. . .what?
You are to be assigned to the Workers Shock Brigade at Yakustk Blast Furnace #4.
My god! That's the coldest city on Earth!
The five years will pass in no time. You may even return with most of your fingers, if not toes.
Five years?
Enjoy the rest of your donut. You'll need an ice pick to eat one where you're going.

Talent Is an Asset

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Sun, 21 Jun 2026 17:25:08 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Great view, right, Egon?
Very impressive, Lars. Such a talent!
Thanks. Some things just come natural.
"Some things. . ."
Not for me, of course.
That's what I thought you meant.

Roadie

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Sat, 20 Jun 2026 21:29:26 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Have we met before?
I don't recall being introduced. Got a cigarette? I'm out of smokes.
I can see that this day is going to be weird.
Is that an issue?
Not with me it isn't.

Don't Look Now

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Mon, 15 Jun 2026 21:02:27 +0000

honeyj has posted:

How long do you think I can balance?
I'm not sure of the minimum; but I know the maximum.
Yeah? What's that?
When the next train gets here.
There's a train?
Don't bother to look. You'll feel it soon enough.

The Digital Age

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Fri, 12 Jun 2026 18:06:01 +0000

honeyj has posted:

What are we doing here, Lou?
We're waiting for the shipment.
Here?
It'll cruise right under that bridge.
And then what?
They'll send a signal.
How?
Over the radio.
What radio?
The one in your. . . where's the radio? I told you to grab it!
That thing was a radio? I thought you meant bring the lunch!
Lunch? The damn radio is still in the car? Are you shitting me?
Look! I made tuna and green onions. Just the way you like it! Cookies too. see?
Gimme that! Now go get the damn radio.
Just don't eat it all, ok?
Get going, doofus! We miss the shipment, you'll be worrying about more than a tuna sandwich.
Ok, but at least leave me a cookie.
Go!
Cookie?
Ok! Jesus!
Awesome.

Movement

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Mon, 08 Jun 2026 16:48:44 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Whatcha doin', Carl?
Hey Vern. I'm keeping my eye on this thing.
How come?
Gotta make sure it don't move.
What? Carl, it's been here for like 140 years. It ain't gonna move.
You got it. Because I'll be right here makin' sure it don't.
Well, call me if anything changes.
Oh, you'll hear about it. Definitely.
Good to know.