Album Michigan from honeyj

Top Floor

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Thu, 09 Jul 2026 04:36:09 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Here we have it! Your next home!
You're renting this out?
The penthouse suite! Truly the showpiece of the place.
But it's a hay loft!
Designed to re-imagine rural living for the 21st century! Exciting, eh?
Do you allow pets?
Oh, no, we couldn't do that. Can't take the risk of damage.
And the bats don't like company, right?
Not so much.

Hideaway

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Sun, 05 Jul 2026 18:47:37 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Hey, Jerry. You watch the festivities last night?
What festivities?
You know! The big rallies. The speeches. The crowds. The noise. The whole thing!
Nope.
You didn't?
I don't care about any of that and want nothing to do with it.
Why not?
I got better things to do.
Like what?
Like hanging out here.
That's not really doing anything, Jerry.
My whole point.

Talent Is an Asset

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Sun, 21 Jun 2026 17:25:08 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Great view, right, Egon?
Very impressive, Lars. Such a talent!
Thanks. Some things just come natural.
"Some things. . ."
Not for me, of course.
That's what I thought you meant.

Arc of Creation

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Fri, 08 May 2026 19:18:10 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Hello, lord. Are you working on something?
Oh, hello, archangel. I'm creating a new world.
Another one?
I'm gonna keep doing this until I get it right. Take a look. Nice start, eh?
Very nice, lord. What about the world you and I have been discussing these past few centuries?
Oh, that one? I'll tell you, if i wasn't for my favorite lake, I would have incinerated Earth long ago on account of those defective, self-destructive and idiotic humans.
Will you be visiting there this summer?
Absolutely, archangel. I just signed a lease for a cute little Lake Michigan beach cottage.
Dare I ask: who's the landlord? It's not. . .
Ba'al? God no. Someone named Asherah. Weird name, eh?
OMG! Asherah? She's Ba'al's primary consort and business manager!
What? Why that scumbag! Where's that fraudster's used car lot?
Paterson, New Jersey, lord.
Gimme that thunderbolt.
This one?
No, the bigger one. There's only one way to handle this.
In mysterious ways, lord?
This won't be too mysterious, archangel.
I can hardly wait, lord.

Exit Strategy

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Fri, 20 Feb 2026 19:15:46 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Think we lost 'em?
I dunno, Lou. We better hurry.
good thing we left the boat here.
Uh. . . the boat?
The getaway boat! Say, where is it, Donny?
You didn't say nothin' about a getaway boat, Lou.
Whaddya mean?
What I mean is: can you swim?
Shit! Are there sharks?
Don't worry. Not today.
Sure?
Pretty sure.

You Fuck with Me, You Fuck with the Whole Trailer Park

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Sat, 11 Sep 2021 17:38:09 +0000

honeyj has posted:

how are you, lord?
good, archangel. very good.
I see it's getting a little. . . threatening on earth, lord.
oh yeah. my kind of day.
good to hear.
hand me that bag of thunderbolts over there, would you please?
really? these are the big ones. you haven't used them in. . . ages.
you know time means nothing to me, archangel.
right. it's just a construct. I heard that.
from me?
where else, lord?

Misophonia

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Sun, 14 Mar 2021 20:58:56 +0000

honeyj has posted:

what's up curtis?
oh, hey, vern.
here. I brought you some nachos.
thanks. you gonna eat some too?
for sure.
ok. I think I'll start banging on this piece of wood.
you making something?
nah. but listening to you chewing bugs the shit out of me.
ha ha. wait. for real?
yeah.
oh. well, I totally relate. in fact, maybe you should fire up one of them power tools.
that's what I'm thinking.

Toupee Fiasco

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Thu, 04 Jun 2020 03:26:06 +0000

honeyj has posted:

slave! I need a photo op!
yes lord ba'al. where would you like it?
I'm thinking in front of that church over there.
that church? but there's, uh, hundreds of people in the street between here and there.
well get rid of them! do I need to do everything around here?
no lord. I will take care of it.
use force! I want total domination! you hear?
loud and clear, lord.
and bring that book people like.
which one, lord?
you know, the judeo-christian whatever-it's-called.
the bible?
that. bring it. I'll pretend to know what it is.
certainly.
how's my hair?
well, uh, you've lost most of it. . .
not that you idiot! my public hair!
it's fine, lord! the best!
not too windy today?
you'll be safe, lord.
keep the helicopters away until I'm done.
of course, lord.
after that, do whatever. I don't care.
that's. . . obvious, lord.

The Meaning of Meaning

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Tue, 28 Apr 2020 17:20:28 +0000

honeyj has posted:

whatcha doin', Marcel?
sup, Izzy. I'm communing with nature.
yeah? how's that workin' out?
great, thanks. whaddya want?
I don't want nothin'. the boss wants to see ya.
what about?
you think he tells me? he just says do it.
ok, I'll be right there.
meaning, now, right?
meaning, soon as I finish communing here.
hey, commune this: don't piss off the boss.
yeah, yeah. ok.
nature ain't gonna save your sorry butt if you do.
well, not when you interrupt me like that, she ain't.
tell her it couldn't be helped.
I will. but I don't think she'll listen.

Breathless

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Fri, 24 Apr 2020 19:03:24 +0000

honeyj has posted:

I’m going for a jog in the woods. wanna come?
nah. I already had my exercise for the day.
yeah? what was that?
well, let's see. I got up. went outside. had a smoke. walked down to the road. picked up the paper. walked back. had another smoke. and. . . that's about it.
impressive. be careful you don't overdo it.
I know. but I gotta feel the burn.
I'm sure you do.

Food Group

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Fri, 23 Aug 2019 20:36:04 +0000

honeyj has posted:

oh my god! I just remembered something!
yeah? what?
I forgot to have breakfast!
what made you think of that?
I dunno, but let's eat!
good idea.

Wood-Wide Web

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Fri, 09 Aug 2019 14:16:54 +0000

honeyj has posted:

isn't it a beautiful evening, edna?
yes, stanley. but must you keep tickling me?
I'm not tickling you, edna.
well there's nobody else here!
hmmm. is it just my imagination, or are those trees kind of. . . twitching?
they do seem to be in some sort of harmony, don't they?
you think that they're, I don't know, communicating?
that can't be. but I'm pretty sure this leafy branch poking me in the side wasn't here before.
it's kinda cute. maybe it wants you to share your popsicle.
you think so?
I honestly have no idea, edna.

Overtime

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Mon, 05 Aug 2019 21:44:39 +0000

honeyj has posted:

how was your day, dear?
miserable. they made me stay and work overtime.
ouch. I hope the pay is worth it.
it's ok, but, man, those floaties are a bitch to control sometimes.
good thing you're tough.
tell me about it.

Master Plan

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Sat, 08 Jun 2019 18:28:45 +0000

honeyj has posted:

this is the place, irv. I can feel it in my bones.
place for what, boss?
my new strip mall and gas station!
but it's a swamp! there's nothin' here but frogs and birds.
not for long. it's the wave of the future, my boy. gotta think big.
meaning the frogs and birds get wacked?
they won't know what hit 'em.
geez.
just the kind of guy I am, irv. what can I say?
nothin'. don't say nothin'.

Loser

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Sat, 11 May 2019 15:15:01 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Edna, have you seen our financial statement? All of our fossil fuel investments have melted away.
Yes, Stanley. Along with the polar ice caps.
You don't really believe that global warming hoax, do you?
Like the hoax storm that washed away our beach cottage?
Don't read too much into that, Edna.
No. Even though 100-year storms come every year now.
It's a liberal plot, that's all.
Mother nature's a liberal, Stanley?
Who would have believed it?
I think I'll handle our portfolio from now on.
Are you saying I'm. . . delusional?
I don't have to, Stanley. You just did.

Outlet

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Thu, 09 May 2019 20:16:25 +0000

honeyj has posted:

is this the way out?
I suppose so. there's no other way around here.
ok. will you keep an eye out for me?
an eye out for what?
the law.
oh. well, I am a police officer. may I help you, sir?
uh, no, officer! I'm just traveling through here.
well have a safe trip. but you might want to stash that piece where it's not so obvious, know what I mean?
uh, this?
that.
right! of course! thanks.
no problem.

Bird Dog

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Sat, 27 Apr 2019 13:42:47 +0000

honeyj has posted:

he got away, man.
what do you mean, he got away?
he was fast.
you're a dog! it's your job to get him!
he had wings! who knew?
excuses. that's all I ever hear from you.
yeah, it's tough.. so can I play with the boom stick now?
forget it.

IT Guy

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Tue, 08 May 2018 19:30:28 +0000

honeyj has posted:

your new network server is here. where do you want it?
put it in that stall.
ah, there's a horse in there. should I move him out of the way first?
no. that's his office. the server's for him.
really? he knows computers?
for sure. he's my accountant. it's amazing what the promise of a few oats can accomplish.

My Way or the Highway

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Sat, 31 Mar 2018 16:57:22 +0000

honeyj has posted:

filbert, do you have the latest projections?
yes, sir. production quotas will definitely meet our expectations this quarter.
good. what about next quarter.
well, we're anticipating a slight downturn in sales. due to market factors. sir.
I don't like that filbert. I don't like that at all.
me neither, sir. but it's the global market.
I built this enterprise to affect the market. not the other way around. you get me?
loud and clear sir.
ok then. now get out there and do something about it. I expect to see an improved projection within a week.
a week. very good sir.
don't let me down, filbert. you've got a good future here.
thank you sir.
or did until today.
yes sir.

tank u very much

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Sat, 03 Feb 2018 00:30:26 +0000

honeyj has posted:

put it in there.
what, there? all of it?
yeah. all of it.
I don't think it'll fit.
do your best.
but what if there's some left over?
you eat it.
eat it!? I can't eat this!
then you better make it fit.
you know? I'm thinking it'll fit.
me too.