Contributions of the group Corporate Bollocks

Welcome welcome

nobody@ipernity.com (tarboat) — Thu, 20 Aug 2020 21:01:25 +0000

tarboat has posted:

I visited the locks at Marple on the Peak Forest Canal today. The sheer number of large blue signs erected by the Canal and River Trust was astonishing, I have never been welcomed to so many things in one morning and this included a picnic table! The whole lot jarred very badly with the historic structures and added little or no value to the experience.

I already know that this is the Peak Forest Canal, Marple Locks and a picnic table so don't need loads of money wasting on signs to welcome me to them. On the other hand I have no idea what a Welcome Station might be, but it clearly needs a big sign on a historic building to ensure that we know where it is so that we can be welcomed to it. Presumably some manager has been tasked with ensuring full and effective corporate branding in all directions.

Corporate

nobody@ipernity.com (tarboat) — Fri, 13 Mar 2020 12:33:34 +0000

tarboat has posted:

Demolition of the Millbrook Unit at Macclesfield General Hospital. GallifordTry are pushing their award winning CBAB safety programme with its challenging bylines.

Lifting People - Raising Standards

nobody@ipernity.com (tarboat) — Fri, 12 Oct 2018 06:21:20 +0000

tarboat has posted:

Corporate nonsense on this sign seen in a lift at the Premier Inn at Falkirk.

QTS

nobody@ipernity.com (tarboat) — Thu, 21 Jun 2018 06:13:22 +0000

tarboat has posted:

More signs than you can shake a stick at. What the hell does all this mean? What is the point of it all?

Reliability for real life®

nobody@ipernity.com (tarboat) — Tue, 12 Jul 2016 22:03:31 +0000

tarboat has posted:

What the hell does that mean? Corporate bollocks at its best once again. Seen near Nottingham this afternoon.

Managing cash in society

nobody@ipernity.com (tarboat) — Thu, 28 Apr 2016 22:06:32 +0000

tarboat has posted:

Seen outside our local Tesco store. I wondered whether this was the vehicle used by the treasurer of the local numismatic group, but it turned out to be corporate bollocks!

Whatever will they think of next?

nobody@ipernity.com (tarboat) — Fri, 27 Feb 2015 12:39:27 +0000

tarboat has posted:

A tin bath in the yard was always good enough for dogs, but now they can be treated to the full salon treatment in the back of a white van. I note that the delights include turbo drying and that the van is fitted with external cctv. Not something my dogs will be sampling any time soon.

Corporate stupidity

nobody@ipernity.com (tarboat) — Wed, 24 Dec 2014 13:10:14 +0000

tarboat has posted:

The rules must state that every station platform requires a sign at the end(s) to inform the public that they must not pass beyond that point. This is fine up to a point, but what happens when a main access to the station is through a gate beyond the platform end? Two hopeful passengers arrive at Middlewood Station, apparently in direct conflict with the rules.

React, Maintain, Build

nobody@ipernity.com (tarboat) — Wed, 30 Jul 2014 06:14:06 +0000

tarboat has posted:

More corporate rubbish on the Novus Solutions van seen at Bangor University. The company has lots more nonsense on its website:

Mission Statement /
Our mission is to continually exceed expectations through quality, safely delivered by a professional, experienced well trained workforce.

Our Vision /
Our vision is to be recognised nationally as the contractor of choice for all building and maintenance needs, delivering bespoke client focused solutions together with unrivalled customer service and client satisfaction.

Perhaps a few more superlatives would not go amiss!

Tomorrow's technology today

nobody@ipernity.com (tarboat) — Wed, 25 Jun 2014 18:44:57 +0000

tarboat has posted:

More time travel from the neverworld that is corporate culture.

Dispense solutions

nobody@ipernity.com (tarboat) — Sat, 26 Oct 2013 17:13:34 +0000

tarboat has posted:

More corporate nonsense splurged on the side of a van. Surely it should be 'dispensing' rather than 'dispense'? The company appears to supply beer pumps and refrigeration to the licensed trade.

Joined-up thinking

nobody@ipernity.com (tarboat) — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 17:31:11 +0000

tarboat has posted:

Stoke-on-Trent City Council makes great play on its website about the value of the greenways it promotes and develops. One of these is the River Trent Path which emerges close to the Michelin Roundabout to meet this classic piece of left hand and right hand each having no idea what the other is doing. Clearly nobody in authority has ever been here to see that the wonderful publicly funded scheme is fully accessible to pushchairs, cycles, etc. The galvanised anti-motorcycle barrier seems somewhat unnecessary in the face of the highway crash barrier which guarantees a motorcycle free zone.

building futures through partnership

nobody@ipernity.com (tarboat) — Tue, 12 Jul 2011 17:03:11 +0000

tarboat has posted:

What a load of nonsense. What they actually do is repair public/housing association properties in return for lots of money.

Synchronising the world of commerce

nobody@ipernity.com (tarboat) — Wed, 18 Jul 2012 06:16:53 +0000

tarboat has posted:

I thought they delivered parcels.

many players... one team

nobody@ipernity.com (tarboat) — Sun, 16 Dec 2012 13:11:58 +0000

tarboat has posted:

Seen on a notice in Chadderton Town Hall. I hate this type of local authority slogan. All very PC but little evidence that they actually mean it. In this case it appears to be a rapidly shrinking team if the newspaper reports are to be believed. The past few years have seen many jobs lost in this team.

www.oldham-chronicle.co.uk/news-features/8/news/74426/290...

Moving Distribution Forward

nobody@ipernity.com (tarboat) — Sat, 19 Oct 2013 06:41:05 +0000

tarboat has posted:

Mrs Tarboat and I pass the hours whilst on long car journeys watching out for the slogans on the goods vehicles that we pass. Some can be mildly amusing whilst others are just factual, and then there are the pretentious nonsense types such as this.