Contributions of the group Artistic Decay & Abandonments

Virgin Sacrifice On Acid

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Sat, 01 Aug 2026 21:57:49 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Slave! I need you!
Yes, my lord, Ba'al.
Where are my virgins? I'm expecting them to parade before me!
Momentarily, lord.
And are they. . . um. . . suitably excited?
Naturally, lord. Who wouldn't want to fulfill their life by being sacrificed to you?
True, true.
One thing, though. They want to. . . take LSD first.
They what?
In order to lose their minds, they say.
So as to improve the experience, I assume?
I'm sure, lord.
Their devotion to me is so gratifying.
It goes without saying, o beloved one.
Indeed. But you can say it anyway.
Of course, lord.

Rocket Science

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Wed, 29 Jul 2026 20:46:44 +0000

honeyj has posted:

I couldn't live here.
Who's asking you to?
Oh, I was just anticipating your next question.
Yeah? What am I gonna ask you now?
Am I hungry?
Keeee-rect! What's your answer?
I'm starved.
Me too. Let's eat.
Well that was easy.
Hey, it's not rocket science, you know.

Personal Effects

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Tue, 28 Jul 2026 20:32:02 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Bad news, man. I've been evicted.
Damn, that's harsh. Moving is the worst.
You said it. Plus, I've accumulated so much stuff! I mean, it's unbelievable what's in here! And the thing is, I can't bear leaving any of it.
You're taking it all?
Yeah, I gotta.
Even. . . .Even this giant. . . thing?
Man, I gotta keep that! I've been through so much with it! It's like a part of the family!
Yeah, but, dude. How are you gonna get it out of here?
Drive it, of course.
Drive it? Does it even run?
You mean it might not? Don't even say that!
Ok, you didn't hear it from me. I'm sure it'll start.
Jesus! You had me worried there for a second!
It's in perfect shape. When, ah, when was the last time you fired it up?
Hmmm. Let's see. Who was president during Watergate?
What? It's been sitting here 50 years?
No man! I was just quizzing you! Only about 40! It'll be a snap, right?
Totally.

Being and Nothingness

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Mon, 27 Jul 2026 18:36:16 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Hello? Is anybody home?
What can I do for you?
Sorry, I couldn't find the door bell. I'm selling magazine subscriptions to get through college. Do you live here?
Can't say live. It's an existence.
Perhaps Better Homes and Gardens would be perfect for you.
You think it will help with this place?
I doubt it, but you might like the pretty pictures.
No thanks. You got Futility and Angst Monthly?
Of course. One of our best sellers in this neighborhood.
What a surprise.
Yes, it's curious.

Cry Me a River

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Fri, 17 Jul 2026 03:42:03 +0000

honeyj has posted:

This is it, Pauley. This is THE place.
Place for what, Vince?
Our next business venture. It's gonna be dynamite.
You planning on blowing it up? Sounds good to me.
No you idiot! This'll be the new in place in town! They'll be lining up to eat out of our hands!
They're not gonna want to touch your hands in this dump. or anything else for that matter.
I know you want to invest.
No way. You think I'm gonna throw away money on this place, you're nuts.
Hey, I thought you was a friend.
A friend? Yes. A dumb schmuck? No.
I can't believe it. Another dream, destroyed by short-sighted greed and avarice.
Want my advice, pal? You need to get yourself a higher class of dreams.
Yeah, well maybe.

Creationism

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Thu, 16 Jul 2026 19:55:17 +0000

honeyj has posted:

How are you today, lord?
What's up, archangel?
It's about your people, lord.
Which people?
On Earth, lord. Remember it?
Yes. I was still experimenting with the creation thing back then.
Right. Well, it is becoming evident that the humans' time there is about up.
You think?
Yes. They've over-populated and stripped the planet with never-ending short-sighted greed.
Too bad for them. I gave them brains. Let them fix it.
But they can't agree on anything, lord.
Then they'll end up in the toilet, won't they?
What do you think about providing a little guidance?
Oh, ok. You can send a few messengers. Carry my word.
What should they tell humankind?
Just this: wise up or die. How's that?
Simple. Direct. Will they understand?
You mess with my trees, my lakes and rivers, watch your butt.
Yes, lord.
I am no supreme being to be fooled with, no way.
Of course, lord.
And only idiots crap in the bed in which they sleep. Now go. I'm busy working on a little 4th dimension thing.
Oh?
Yeah, they're gonna love it on Arcturus.
They will sing your praises, I'm sure.
Whatever. But those idiot humans? You tell them: they break it, they own it.
Yes lord.

New Morning

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Tue, 14 Jul 2026 04:22:43 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Help you?
Yeah, I'm here for my truck.
That thing? About about time. It's been here a while.
Yeah, like 15 years.
Where you been?
Busy.
Doing what?
Improving my attitude.
How'd that work out for you?
Things might be looking up.
15 years. Musta needed a lot of improving.
Hey. Fuck you. I mean, It did. It certainly did.

No Hipsters

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Fri, 10 Jul 2026 19:55:42 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Where do you think you're going?
I'm here for the show, man.
Forget it. You ain't getting in.
Whaddya mean? I'm all dressed for the occasion.
Can't you read the sign? Anyway, that color scheme sucks. And turn that hat around. you look ridiculous.
Damn, man. That's harsh.
The symphony has its standards here, you know.
Yeah? Coulda fooled me.

Armored Division

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Tue, 07 Jul 2026 03:45:12 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Are you ready for a walk, Stanley?
I am, Edna, let's go.
Ok. I'll just put on my sandals.
Uh, actually, do you have work boots?
Work boots?
Preferably steel-toed. And a helmet.
To go for a walk?
It's just a suggestion, Edna.
Maybe I should grab a flak jacket too?
Armored, if you have one.
This walk sounds like it'll be dreamy.
That's one way to put it.

Art of the Deal

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Fri, 03 Jul 2026 21:00:10 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Hello, madam.How are you today?
Fine. Whaddya want?
We are here to make sure you are satisfied with your new wallpaper.
I don't know. There's something about the place that don't seem the same.
What exactly is that?
Take a look.
Ok. Um. . . where are the walls?
I was about to ask you that question.They seem to have disappeared, along with the wallpaper.
Yes, well, ah, might we suggest a slight, ah, reduction of your bill.
Good idea.
In fact, maybe we should just forget that we ever met.
Deal.

Free Radicals

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Thu, 23 Apr 2026 03:25:41 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Whatcha doin', man?
I'm cutting up some fresh vegetables for dinner.
Yeah? Where's the meat?
No meat. That's out. I'm increasing my intake of antioxidants.
No meat? Damn. How come?
Doctor says I gotta cut down on all those free radicals. Know what I mean?
You mean those radicals are still free? Wow. I mean, I thought they was all thrown in jail years ago.
What? No, man.
So they out. Cool.
Sure. Whatever. Have a carrot.
I never knew you were so political.
Yeah, well these are turbulent times.
Right on with that.

Comintern

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Wed, 24 Jun 2026 20:06:30 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Come with me, comrade.
Where are we going?
You've been summoned to appear before the Peoples' Commissariat of Non-Ferrous Metallurgy and Social Enlightenment. Finish your donut.
Summoned? Why?
is it true that you've installed an aluminum wind vane in front of your kommunalka.
You mean, my house? Yeah. So?
And affixed to this device, is there a colorful symbol of a certain Western comic strip character, often referred to by the assumed patronymic of "Snoopy?"
Well, yeah.
Be very careful, comrade. Some might see this as a subversive poisoning of the people's revolutionary ethic.
You don't say. Well, what if I replaced Snoopy with some other symbol, comrade? Say. . . Linus?
Well, that would make a difference. As I'm sure you know, Linus is a well-known anti-capitalist Hero of the Soviet Union. I believe the Committee would look favorably on such a change.
Great!
It might even mitigate the terms of your re-education.
My. . .what?
You are to be assigned to the Workers Shock Brigade at Yakustk Blast Furnace #4.
My god! That's the coldest city on Earth!
The five years will pass in no time. You may even return with most of your fingers, if not toes.
Five years?
Enjoy the rest of your donut. You'll need an ice pick to eat one where you're going.

Feng Shui

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Tue, 16 Jun 2026 20:32:25 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Edna, I think it's time we thought about redecorating.
Why Stanley? Our house has such an old retro look.
Frankly, dear, I'm afraid it's a little too old, and a little too retro.
Do you really think so?
I'm pretty sure, Edna.

The Deep End

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Sun, 14 Jun 2026 15:44:55 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Ok class, let's start today's swim lesson.
What are we doing today, teacher? More dog paddling?
No. You're going into the deep end of the pool. I suggest you watch out for a few things.
What's that?
Chunks of cement and rusty rebar. Very sharp.
That sounds bad.
It is. Although not as bad as the remains of last year's class.

Dog Eat Dog

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Fri, 12 Jun 2026 19:16:30 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Hey, Larry. Man, you look awful!
Eddie, I just had the worst night of my life.
The boys wondered why you didn't make the poker game. What happened to you?
I was outside around midnight, minding my own business, when I got grabbed by the back of my neck and dragged into a hole!
Jesus! By who?
By that asshole wolf down the street, Butch. I thought I was a goner, man.
How'd you escape?
He dropped me in a corner and I played dead. When he turned, I hightailed it out of there!
Good thinking.
It's a dog-eat-dog world out there man.
It totally is. Good thing we're rabbits, eh?
Damn straight. Got a carrot I can borrow?
Sure man.
Cool.

Roll Over

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Wed, 10 Jun 2026 20:58:23 +0000

honeyj has posted:

You awake?
Mmmph?
You are. You gonna make the coffee?
I donwanany
What? I didn't understand you. Roll over.
Hey. You get up and make the damn coffee for once.
Ok. That I understand.

Everybody Knows

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Wed, 10 Jun 2026 18:51:05 +0000

honeyj has posted:

What's new, Donny?
It's great: I am in the clear!
Clear of what?
The files. Or what's in them. I blocked them from being released, as only I was able to do.
Uh huh. So you benefit from what, exactly?
You see? I can't go down for what nobody knows. Of course it's fake news bullshit anyway.
Sure.
The economy is the envy of the world! It's a golden age!
And, uh, the war? Remember that?
Wow! Look at the time! Gotta date with the first tee! Catch you later, ok?
Right. By the way: everybody knows. E-v-e-r-y-b-o-d-y.
Knows what?
Forget it.

Flux Capacitor

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Mon, 08 Jun 2026 15:46:00 +0000

honeyj has posted:

The machine is ready, Herr Doktor.
Excellent my boy! Throw the switch!
Ok. Oh my god! Doktor! What's that awful vibration?!
Hah! My theory is correct! In seconds this structure will cease to exist altogether! At least in this dimension!
It will? But. . . but. . . what about us?
You mean you. My protective shield insulates me from the machine's effects. Brilliant, eh? Haha!
And. . . me?
You? Hmmm. Maybe I'll figure out how to bring you back one day.
Back? Fom where?
Who knows! But wherever it is, have a nice trip! I love science!

Failure to Launch

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Tue, 09 Jun 2026 03:39:47 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Corporal! Start the countdown!
Yes General. Countdown starting now! 10-9-8. . .
Those scurvy dogs will never again insult our national pride!
3-2-1. . .
Fire the missiles! At last! our manifest destiny will be fulfilled!
Uh, General. We have. . . er, we have a problem.
What do you mean? Speak up!
The missiles did not launch, General.
What? Why not?
Um, it seems that someone, er. . . forgot to load the silos. Sir.
You mean to tell me there are no missiles in there?
Affirmative, sir. Do you want me to go get them?
Do I want. . . Yes! Immediately!
Ok sir. Can I. . . can I borrow your car?
Borrow my car? To get the missiles? Idiot!
I forgot my bus pass. I guess I could walk. Back by dinnertime.
Tonight?
Maybe tomorrow.
The White House is not gonna like this.

Trouble Is My Middle Name

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Thu, 04 Jun 2026 04:05:32 +0000

honeyj has posted:

I'll take a few questions. Yes, you.
Mr. President, how do you justify starting a war costing billions of dollars and thousands of lives, with no plan and no endgame strategy, while disrupting the world economy and loss of any remaining trust from what were once America's allies?
That is a nasty question. You are a stupid person and should not have that job.
Yeah, thanks. Will you now answer the question?
What is your name?
You answer the question and I'll tell you my name. Fair?
You are gonna be in deep deep trouble.
Well, if you must know, trouble is my. . . take a guess.