Contributions of the group Dark Art

No Hipsters

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Fri, 10 Jul 2026 19:55:42 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Where do you think you're going?
I'm here for the show, man.
Forget it. You ain't getting in.
Whaddya mean? I'm all dressed for the occasion.
Can't you read the sign? Anyway, that color scheme sucks. And turn that hat around. you look ridiculous.
Damn, man. That's harsh.
The symphony has its standards here, you know.
Yeah? Coulda fooled me.

Half-Life

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Wed, 08 Jul 2026 04:03:45 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Herr Doktor, the shipment of isotopes you ordered is here.
Excellent, my boy! Bring it to me! Careful! It’s very unstable!
It is?
Oh yes. Fissionable in fact! Very dangerous! Check out my old high school if you don't believe me! I can't go back there again!
Yes, Doktor, but what’s it for?
Now let’s see. . . I mix one part nuclear fuel with one part isotope; a pinch of enriched uranium. Stir in some rare earths. . . Excuse me, boy. What did you say?
What are you making?
Well, it's not a salami sandwich, I can tell you. Unless a salami sandwich can destroy the world!
That would depend on the mustard, wouldn’t it, Doktor?
What? Yes! Ha ha! Of course! (Note to self: consider the molecular structure of mustard in support of my hypothesis. Science!)

Petrified Forest

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Mon, 11 May 2026 03:31:45 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Look at this place, Sid. It must have once been a great civilization.
That's obvious, Al. Long since dead though.
Too bad, eh? Only their temple remains.
What kind of god do you think they prayed to?
From what I'm seeing, a real tough motherfucker.
Best kind of god to have, far as I'm concerned.
Absolutely.

Arc of Creation

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Fri, 08 May 2026 19:18:10 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Hello, lord. Are you working on something?
Oh, hello, archangel. I'm creating a new world.
Another one?
I'm gonna keep doing this until I get it right. Take a look. Nice start, eh?
Very nice, lord. What about the world you and I have been discussing these past few centuries?
Oh, that one? I'll tell you, if i wasn't for my favorite lake, I would have incinerated Earth long ago on account of those defective, self-destructive and idiotic humans.
Will you be visiting there this summer?
Absolutely, archangel. I just signed a lease for a cute little Lake Michigan beach cottage.
Dare I ask: who's the landlord? It's not. . .
Ba'al? God no. Someone named Asherah. Weird name, eh?
OMG! Asherah? She's Ba'al's primary consort and business manager!
What? Why that scumbag! Where's that fraudster's used car lot?
Paterson, New Jersey, lord.
Gimme that thunderbolt.
This one?
No, the bigger one. There's only one way to handle this.
In mysterious ways, lord?
This won't be too mysterious, archangel.
I can hardly wait, lord.

Overindulgence

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Tue, 21 Apr 2026 19:47:43 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Holy cow, Bert, you see that guy? He is obviously shit-faced.
Dammit, Earl! I told you it was time to stop serving drinks to him!
Well, he sure made a mess of this place, didn't he?
Which you are going to clean up, right?
Sorry, Bert, no can do. I gotta drive this loser home.

You Can't Get There From Here

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Wed, 29 May 2019 21:29:20 +0000

honeyj has posted:

do you believe in heaven and hell?
no, but I believe in you and me.
I think god would approve of that.
me too.
so we should get to heaven, right?
probably not from here, though.
no, probably not.

Drinkywink

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Sat, 25 Apr 2020 19:52:53 +0000

honeyj has posted:

what'll you have, buddy?
gimme a Malignant Narcissist, barkeep.
what's in it?
simple. Lysol and orange juice. I just heard it was great.
orange juice I got. Lysol though?
check under the bathroom sink.
good idea.

OGPU

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Wed, 11 Feb 2026 04:25:21 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Good morning, comrade. How are things on the collective farm these days?
fine, Arkady. But I received a letter today.
Oh? From who?
Not who. What. The OGPU.
The Joint State Political Directorate?
Da. What could they want from me?
I would have no idea. You did burn all those Beach Boys records, right?
Of course!
That's good. Just pray you're not put in the Green Room.
The what?
I hear only rumors, of course.
What rumors?
Endlessly forced to listen to Lawrence Welk.
oh my god!
Or even The Osmonds.
Can such depravity be real?
Things can't possibly get any worse in this world, I'm sure of it.

Kleptocratic Fascist Reality Show

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Thu, 04 Jul 2019 03:43:43 +0000

honeyj has posted:

what am I doing here?
it's just routine. face the wall.
am I being arrested?
no further questions.
I was just walking by.
we know. empty your pockets.
I think maybe I need a lawyer.
that's against the rules.
what rules?
it's all in today's tweet.
tweets aren't rules.
they are now.

vertigo

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Sun, 02 Jan 2011 02:50:19 +0000

honeyj has posted:

wind is picking up.
I feel it. we're gonna get it tonight, looks like.
yeah. but one thing I'm wondering.
what's that?
what are we doing up here, anyway?
whaddya mean? wasn't it your idea?
me? hell no. I hate heights.
well it wasn't mine. I hate heights too.
then can we go down now?
absolutely. soon as you figure out how.

Gallengrotte

nobody@ipernity.com (wirsberg) — Wed, 09 Feb 2022 21:38:19 +0000

wirsberg has posted:

Blick aus der Gruft der Gallengrotte. (Eine natürliche Felsgrotte im Schwäbisch-Fränkischen Wald)  

 Berührt dich dieser Anblick auf eine tiefe Art? Wenn ja, so ritze deine Initialen in mein kleines Dashboard, bevor du weitereilst zum nächsten Bild.   Verweilt dein Blick noch immer hier, so öffne deine Sinne und vernehme dieses Wort: 

Ein Himmel fern, so weit, so hart. Ein letzter Gruß hinauf ins Licht.

Im vorauseilenden Andenken an die Toten, die da kommen werden. Seit vielen Jahren sind sie standhaft, sie wandeln umher, aber jedem ist sein Tag bestimmt, da er seinen letzten Schritt tut und über die Brücke in die Ewigkeit entgleitet.   

Musik für die passende emotionale Einstimmung: mirrorofhaze.bandcamp.com/album/the-end-is-the-beginning

Ig Nobel Prize

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Wed, 11 Apr 2018 03:14:54 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Ig Nobel Prize
good morning, herr doktor, how are you?
my boy! isn't it marvelous? I've won the greatest prize of all!
you mean a Nobel prize?
better! I've won the far rarer and more prestigious Ig Nobel prize!
Ig Nobel? great! I guess. what did you win for?
for my revolutionary demonstration that the problem of illegally parked luxury cars can be solved by running them over with an armored tank!
yeah, I remember that experiment. it was so. . . groundbreaking. caused a bit of a stir in the neighborhood too.
indeed!
I preferred your experiment for advising colonoscopy doctors how to minimize the chance that their patients will suddenly explode. that was. . . illuminating.
yes, if somewhat messy. but never mind that! we must celebrate!
sure! with champagne?
actually, I thought we'd sweep up in the lab a bit.
you think it needs it?
maybe a little.

<untitled>

nobody@ipernity.com (Veterok) — Tue, 24 Dec 2019 18:19:17 +0000

Veterok has posted:

Some left hand drawing

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nobody@ipernity.com (Veterok) — Tue, 24 Dec 2019 18:19:15 +0000

Veterok has posted:

blossom and decay

nobody@ipernity.com (Fi Webster) — Tue, 14 Jan 2020 13:42:52 +0000

Fi Webster has posted:

Cut-paper collage 11" x 17"

#SH27 - Our love's river deep mountain high

nobody@ipernity.com (PhLB - Luc Boonen) — Wed, 15 Jan 2020 13:37:55 +0000

PhLB - Luc Boonen has posted:

Impressionists painted a new reality with emphasis on impressions based on light and form and by avoiding lots of detail.
This is my approach to their style.
Best viewed large on black from a distance.

Portal

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Tue, 21 May 2019 18:43:52 +0000

honeyj has posted:

what's happening?
I'm waiting.
for what?
for the portal to open.
portal? to where?
you may not want to know.
but I do!
sure?
yeah!
stand here.
ok. what's gonna happen?
nothing.
nothing?
to me. but you're about to become my mindless entertainment for the day.

Outside a yellow moon was shining

nobody@ipernity.com (PhLB - Luc Boonen) — Sat, 19 Jan 2019 22:57:56 +0000

PhLB - Luc Boonen has posted:

The sunday challenge = Moon, anything to do with the moon. And be creative.
-----------------------------------------

<untitled>

nobody@ipernity.com (Veterok) — Thu, 13 Sep 2018 21:36:33 +0000

Veterok has posted:

September 2018

Informant

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Sun, 11 Nov 2018 00:34:56 +0000

honeyj has posted:

what are we doing here, arkady? I don't like this place.
nobody does, comrade.
well then?
we have an informer in our midst.
that's not possible!
unfortunately, it is.
do you know who?
I do. he's in there.
in. . . there? has he talked?
oh yes. quite a lot.
what about?
about. . . . you, comrade.
me?
says you're his contact.
no! it's a lie!
maybe. we'll find out.
what. . . what happens next?
I think you know.
isn't there anything I can do?
say your prayers.
that's funny, arkady. a lot of good that would do me.
I really can't think of anything else.
that's just great.
well, you asked.