Photos, videos and docs of honeyj, with the keywords: "Detroit"

Tipping Point

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Mon, 31 Aug 2026 04:13:23 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Good morning, Herr Doktor.
My boy! Look at this!
What is it?
A major scientific journal is publishing my latest groundbreaking thesis!
Great! What's the topic?
Through precision field testing, I've determined that the longer a particular cow has been lying down, the more likely it is that it will soon stand up!
Wow.
And that's not all! I have answered the eternal question of whether, once a cow stands up, it can be predicted when it will lie down again!
Can it be?
Not without severe and persistent encouragement! Brilliant, eh? Please put these scientific tools away.
A cattle prod? And jumper cables? And what's all over your clothes?
Oh yes.At the moment I jumped on the supine cow it unexpectedly rolled over onto its back. Things turned a little . . intimate, in a manner of speaking.
Mercy!
Actually, her name was Bernice.

The Nature of Things

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Sun, 30 Aug 2026 18:58:25 +0000

honeyj has posted:

May I help you?
I'm just browsing, thanks. You sure got a lotta junk in here.
Junk? I see no junk. This is all merchandise.
And it's all for sale?
Everything you see. Some of it may need a little work.
Don't we all.
Yes, but that's who we are.
Makes no sense to pretend otherwise.
Not that we don't try.
We do, don't we.
All the time.

Pearly Gates

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Sun, 30 Aug 2026 17:18:47 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Where am I?
You're dead. You're in heaven. Be happy.
I'm dead? This is heaven? Where's the pearly gates?
They're a myth. Forget about them.
You sure?
Don't believe everything you read.
But. . . What about Angel Gabriel?
Gabe? Gabe's not here. You got me instead. Murray.
Murray? Who are you?
I'm your guardian angel. So shut up and sign in.
Where's. . . god?
He ain't here neither. On vacation, I think.
Vacation? He goes on vacation? From heaven?
He gets real bored, actually. Can't blame him.
Where does he go?
Oh, he's got a place on a lake.
He does?
Yeah. One of those inland seas in Michigan. It's, like, heavenly.
I have to say, I'm disappointed. This place is. . .
Is what?
It's so. . . I don't know, trashy, and. . . filthy.
Hey, listen up! God likes it this way!
He does? But why?
So that all you morons with your heads up your asses can clean it! Be halfway useful for once!
Excuse me?
That's right. Self-righteous hypocritical pricks, is all you are.
God says that?
Says more than that, actually. But you didn't hear it from me, understand?
Sure, ok.
You flap your lips, I'll fuck you up. Got it?
Are you sure this is heaven?
Hey! What'd I just tell you? You disrespecting me?
No sir. Not at all. It's just. . .
This ain't no country club! This is heaven, dammit! You're here to work? Got it?
Yes, sir.
You people are so dumb. Believing in miracles.
But. . . but, they promised us eternal life, with the lord!
Lord's got no time for that, fool! Now go see Leon.
Who's he?
Your crew boss. Your lord and master from now on.
Are you sure this isn't a bad dream?
Dream? Ha! Ain't no sleeping allowed here!
So just tell me: if this is heaven, what's hell like?
Ain't no hell. Just heaven. Had to downsize.
Downsize?
Yeah. Because of the economy. So you missed hell.
I feel so lucky.
That means nothing to me. Now get your ass to work!

Business Model

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Sat, 29 Aug 2026 21:08:36 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Hey, Purvis, I've got a new marketing idea to take to the board.
Great, Don. Things are a little slow around here.
It's can't miss. The board'll eat it up.
What's the basic model?
We invest in rat futures!
That's your plan? How does that work, market-wise?
C'mon, man! Think of it! Rats ARE the future!
Hmmm. You know, the board might actually wanna jump on that.
Totally! I knew that MBA would come in handy some day.
The one your father paid for?
Yeah, that one.

Memory

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Thu, 27 Aug 2026 04:11:01 +0000

honeyj has posted:

I heard that most buildings are built to last 50 years.
That doesn't seem like much.
It isn't.
I'd like to think that there’s something in this world that is made to endure.
Unlike us, you mean.
Exactly. We are mere fleeting shadows in this life.
Noisy ones, though.
Well we gotta let somebody know we been here.
They know.
Maybe about you they do.
In a good way?
Ha ha.

After the Fall

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Tue, 25 Aug 2026 02:53:56 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Time for your weekly report, Private. Is it safe out there?
No, sir. Radiation levels are still way beyond toxic.
Even two years after the war ended. Fuckin' bugs.
They'll think twice about invading Earth again sir.
Maybe. But look at the devastation they left.
Yeah. Fuckin' bugs.
What did you say, Private?
I mean fuckin' bugs, sir!

Multiculturalism

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Tue, 25 Aug 2026 02:01:47 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Egon, can I ask you a question?
Sure Lars. Go ahead.
What is it that makes people fear what they don't understand?
You want my opinion? Because they're morons.
Is that really what you think?
No. What I really think is that they're useless fucking morons.
Thanks. May I quote you?
Any time.

Good Neighbor Sam

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Sun, 23 Aug 2026 20:45:26 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Hey, Sam.
Oh, hi, Glen.
So, Sam. I noticed a new fence between our yards. You do that?
I did. Is there an issue?
Uh, no! As they say, good fences make good neighbors, right?
Actually, Glen, it's not a fence, per se.
No? Well then what is it?
It's a force field. A very powerful one at that.
Force field? What the hell is that?
While, as you say, good fences may make good neighbors, a good force field eliminates neighbors altogether. You see?
Ah, well, hmmm, yeah, I suppose so.
Have a nice day. I recommend not getting too close to the property line. Just to be safe. Capeesh?
Yeah, uh, thanks.
Don't mention it.

Entropy

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Fri, 21 Aug 2026 19:14:17 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Hey Vern, let's go for a walk.
I'd love to, Leon, but something is telling me that's not a good idea.
Whaddya mean? It's a beautiful day!
Oh, just a feeling, that maybe this isn't the best place for that.
Geez. I don't know what gives you that impression.
It's subtle. Totally me. Don't worry about it.

Thaumatology

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Sun, 16 Aug 2026 18:24:37 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Am I in the right church?
All are welcome here, brother.
That's good. I need to pray to my patron saint.
Which one is that?
Oh, St. Debtfree.
I don't believe I've heard of that one.
Yes, he's the patron saint of deadbeats.
Aren't you referring to St. Bernardine of Siena?
Well I tried him. He told me I was worthless.
Oh, I'm sure he didn't.
Yeah, he loaned me 50 bucks. I welched.
So now you want to pray to St Debtfree?
Yeah, to get Bernardine off my back. That guy doesn't quit.
So now. . .
Now I need a miracle.

Not Jersey

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Sun, 16 Aug 2026 17:10:05 +0000

honeyj has posted:

I'll take it. Wrap it up for me.
Wrap what up, sir?
You know, the building. I'll take it.
But sir, it's a building. And it's not for sale.
You're not listening. I want it. I'm taking it.
You're not from around here, are you?
No, I'm from Jersey. Why?
This building is a beloved art deco icon.
Yeah? So?
So I suggest you walk out quietly. While you can.
Oh do you?
A few of my friends will be right behind you.
Right. I see your point. It should stay here. But I'll come back and visit, ok?
Please do. And be careful out there. This is Detroit.
Yeah?
Yeah, not Jersey.

Indoor Gardening

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Sat, 15 Aug 2026 20:35:49 +0000

honeyj has posted:

What the hell is growing in here?
It's for me. I'm going on a macro-biotic diet.
No way.
100% vegan. Nuts and berries.
But this place is totally polluted! This stuff could have, I dunno, cellular mutations!
Hey, mutate this. I've got a garden now. got it?
Whatever. I'm gonna go get a hotdog. Want one?
Sure, bring back two, with fries and a coke.
Vegan, eh?
It's close enough.
So, chili on the dogs?
You have to ask?

Downturn

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Thu, 13 Aug 2026 19:38:50 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Edna, darling, I have something to tell you.
Yes, Stanley?
I'm concerned about our investments.
Really? Should I be worried?
Well, as you may have heard, the economy is a bit. . . rocky at the moment. Actually, it's a little out of control and scary.
Oh dear! But that won't affect our holiday cruise to the islands, will it?
Well, we may have to stick to the Caymans and West Indies, I'm afraid.
And miss South America? How will I break it to the servants in Rio and Buenos Aires?
We must all make sacrifices, my dear. I hate to do it, but, regrettably, I'm letting them go.
You are such a benevolent man, Stanley.
I try, Edna.

Toxic Waste

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Thu, 13 Aug 2026 04:09:06 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Hey! Whaddya think you're doing? You can't dump that crap in here!
No?
No!
Well, thing is, I got a permit sez I can.
Oh yeah? Lemme see it
See this.
Whoa! Don't point that permit at me! I agree already.
Thought you would.

Space Invaders

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Wed, 12 Aug 2026 05:00:29 +0000

honeyj has posted:

This is a funny place to put a gateway.
Not so funny. It suits our needs.
When does the portal appear again?
Any second now. We are expecting a visitor.
From Arcturus? Home? Wow.
Yes, and he will be thrilled at our progress.
He will also be hungry, no doubt.
Undoubtedly, and there is plenty to eat on this planet.
You said it! And they transform so easily.
Their cellular structure is very adaptable.
Can I see how it works?
You are looking at it right now. All around you.
All I see is abandoned steel and junk.
Clever disguise, isn't it?
You mean. . .
Yes, this is how we store the humans for shipment home.
Damn! There's old factories like this all over the world!
Yes, lots of humans to harvest here.
Don't they notice?
It's just a broken-down old factory to them. Of no value.
If they only knew.
But they never will. Clueless, ignorant, self-centered creatures.
But cute, in their own way.
Don't let our visitor hear you say that. You'll find yourself missing a few eye stalks. Earthlings are food; not pets.
Got it. Thanks for the tip.
Don't mention it.

I Eat What I Kill

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Tue, 11 Aug 2026 19:14:23 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Hey, Virgil, did you know we're all made of stars.
Yeah? But what about this place, Egon? Is it made of stars too?
Beats me. I'll ask my attorney.
How is she gonna know?
She knows everything.
No kidding?
And she bills me for it too.

La Dolce Vita

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Mon, 10 Aug 2026 04:03:34 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Get your dancing shoes, Edna, we're going out!
Oh Stanley! You're taking me dancing?
I got the raise. And the promotion. We are celebrating!
Wonderful! Maybe now we can fix up a few things around the house? What do you think?
Sure sure. But tonight: we live it up!
I mean, I know I've been nagging, but just a window pane or two, would finally be nice, you know?
Yessir! Gonna live the dream! Feets: do your stuff!
Stanley? Is it too much to ask for glass in even one window in winter? Am I talking to myself?
Look out! Gonna bring my fox trot! Cha cha too!

Great Moments in Science, Part 4

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Sat, 08 Aug 2026 16:22:27 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Good morning, Herr Doktor.
Ah, there you are my boy. Please sit here.
What are we doing today?
You are participating in a monumental, groundbreaking experiment, the results of which will forever change the world!
Wow. What's the experiment?
To put it simply so you will understand: the dissemination of sexually-transmitted diseases through an inflatable doll!
Sexually. . . ?
Are you, eh, a virgin, by any chance?
Well, uh, I guess so.
Excellent! Here, blow this up.
Ok. Wait, are you holding a needle?
Not to worry! It's only a small injection.
Inject. . . . Am I going to get sick?
Who knows? That's why they invented penicillin! No permanent damage (I think)!

ETA

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Fri, 07 Aug 2026 18:43:46 +0000

honeyj has posted:

What time's the next flight?
Fight?
Yeah, you know, the next plane.
You think a plane is going to land here?
Well, yeah! This is the terminal, isn't it?
Sure. You could call it that, if you want.
Say, you got some heavy-duty luggage there. Kinda looks like cut-off steel i-beams. Curious. How the hell did you manage to drag all that in here?
Oh it was already. . . I mean, yeah, it was difficult!
So you're waiting for a plane?
Uh. . . sure! Just like you!
Cool. Well I'm gonna find where to check my bags. You need help with. . . that?
Un, no! Thanks. I got it. But watch out for the collapsed, I mean lowered, ceiling in the. . . uh, check-in area. Must be doing, you know, renovations.
Seems like a lot of it.
It does! Gotta stay up-to-date, I guess.
It's all about service, right?
Totally!

It's Not Working

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Fri, 07 Aug 2026 17:58:59 +0000

honeyj has posted:

What time's lunch, Eddie?
Looks like another 2 hours, Sy.
That can't be possibel! We've been here forever already!
That's true, isn't it. Well, shit! Look at that. The goddamn timeclock ain't working. We shoulda had lunch long ago!
Well what time is it then?
Lemme ask my phone. Oh my god! It says it's tomorrow!
You mean lunch?
No, you idiot! It means we been here all night and now it's tomorrow!
Gee. Well what time's lunch?