Photos, videos and docs of honeyj

STFU

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Mon, 19 Oct 2026 19:24:05 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Ok, Howard, you got me here. Now, where's the money?
It's here, Al! We just gotta find it!
How do you know it's here?
That's what I heard.
Heard from who?
It was a couple a guys at the card game! They was bragging about it! Sayin' no one'll ever find it in this gigantic place.
When was this card game, Howard?
Not too long ago! Maybe, like, I dunno, 3-4 years?
You dragged me out here to collect a hidden stash you heard about 3-4 years ago? Did I get that right, Howard?
Yeah! And one of the guys sez to me, he sez, don't ever let on you heard this cuz the money'll only be there a few more days.
He said that, did he?
Yeah! And then he said. .
Shut the fuck up, Howard. Just. . . shut up.

Night Must Fall

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Sun, 18 Oct 2026 19:36:42 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Will we ever see another sunset, Stanley?
Of course, Edna, but maybe not as nice as this one.
It's getting dark so fast, isn't it?
It is. And that reminds me.
What's that dear?
What's for breakfast?

Underground Resistance

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Sat, 17 Oct 2026 05:45:00 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Are you heading to the meeting, Howard?
Absolutely, Carl. I wouldn't miss it.
The Workers' Collective has a lot to discuss and plan.
Right.
We've been trampled on for too long. It's time to strike back.
I'll be there. Soon as. . .
Soon as what?
I gotta finish my peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
That's your priority right now?
That and the milk and cookies, yeah.
What kind of cookies?
Oreos of course! Duh!
Just checking. Oreos are on the peoples' approved list.
There's a list? Of approved cookies?
Good thing too. I wouldn't want to have to report you, Howard.
You would do that?
Not if I had one of those cookies, I wouldn't.
Solidarity forever, Carl.

Dream On

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Fri, 16 Oct 2026 20:40:35 +0000

honeyj has posted:

May I help you?
Yeah, is Paulie home?
Yes, but he doesn't want to see you. Beat it.
Whaddya mean he doesn't want to see me?
You heard me.
But why?
I don't know, and I don't care.
Man, that's tough. Are you sure?
Yeah, I'm sure. He called you a bunch of bad names. Very bad in fact.
That don't mean nothing. When did he do that?
Last night. In his sleep.
You heard that from him talking in his sleep?
Yeah. I guess.
And that's why you think he don't wanna see me?
Well you know what they say: dreams are a portal to the soul.
Those are eyes, moron.
Oh. Really?
Jesus. What's Paulie doing now?
He's sleeping.
Figures.
And talking about you.

Climate Change

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Thu, 15 Oct 2026 21:00:42 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Good morning, Herr Doktor.
Good morning, my boy. Did you notice how warm it is today?
Yes, it's brutally hot out there.
It's my new Ozone Collector! it's working! Collecting prodigious amounts of ozone, to store in my unique pressure chamber.
What does that mean?
It means, my boy, I now control the climate!
Why would you want to do that?
To be king of the world! Ha ha!
But what will happen to the Earth?
Earth? A minor footnote in the vastness of the cosmos!
That sounds a little extreme, Doktor, I mean. . .
I'll be rolling in money! It's party time!!
Oh my god. I fear for the planet.
I'm gonna shake that. . . er, what do you call it?
You mean, booty?
Yes! It must be shaken!

Dead Meat

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Thu, 15 Oct 2026 20:58:07 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Whatcha up to, Maurice?
Nothin'.Just watching my team go down in flames.
Well that's too bad
Yeah. Too bad for them.
Whaddya mean "for them?"
I had money on their sorry asses. Quite a bit in fact. And they ain't gonna pay off.
You a sore loser?
Maybe, but not as sore as these guys are gonna be in the very near future.
You mean that figuratively, of course, right?
I wouldn't assume that.
Oh. So, not so good for them?
Not good at all.

Armory

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Mon, 12 Oct 2026 21:38:42 +0000

honeyj has posted:

May I help you?
Yeah, I'm here to pick up the new battle tank.
Excuse me?
The new tank. The general wants to test it out.
Uh, we don't have any tanks here.
What? Don't tell me someone else picked it up already?
Well, no.This is an art museum. We have. . . art.
Ok, buddy. Stop fooling around. General wants his tank.
Yes, I see, but there's no tanks here, I'm afraid.
Look, what kind of weapons depot is this, anyway?
We may have a few old cars on display. Would the General like one of those?
Do they shoot? General likes stuff that shoots.
Er, no. Maybe he'll like our next exhibit though.
Yeah? What's that?
The Art of War as Obsolete in Solving International Problems.
Sounds kind of pinko to me. Will there be tanks?
I'll see to it personally.
Ok then. I just hope we're not attacked before that.
I totally agree.

Ahead of the Curve

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Mon, 12 Oct 2026 21:35:13 +0000

honeyj has posted:

How about this pose?
Well, you always were rooted.
Some days more than others!
This must be one of those days.
That's good, right?
I don't mind.

Revival

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Mon, 12 Oct 2026 04:22:33 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Are you here for the meeting?
I dunno. What kind of meeting?
A revival, brother. We are here to save our souls.
Oh, cool. Are women allowed?
Certainly. In fact, there's a girl here who travelled all the way from Paris!
She's here? I'm fucking saved! That is, I feel the spirit in me already, uh, sir.
Excellent! You know her?
She's my long lost. . . uh, sister! Yeah, that's it!
Wonderful to hear. You two must have a lot to talk about.
Yeah. I gotta give her a big kiss. Maybe. And, say, is there a, you know, buffet? After?
Of course.
Hallelujah! I'm a believer! Let's start the revival proper!

Literacy

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Sat, 10 Oct 2026 18:47:18 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Excuse me comrade. Is that a Marxist/Leninist tract you're reading?
A what? Oh, no, it's the latest Scandinavian murder mystery.
That hardly sounds like good party material.
Oh, it is, it is. Without a doubt.
You mean, it's been approved?
Oh, I'm certain of it, yes.
What is it's political viewpoint?
I dunno. But the sex is awesome.
There's. . . sex in it?
The best!
Politcally progressive sex, right?
Absolutely.
May I, er, borrow it? When you're done, I mean?
Sure thing.
I won't tell anyone.
Me neither.

Music for Humans

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Fri, 09 Oct 2026 18:50:25 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Nils, what is that noise?
That's not noise, Otto, it's music!
You call that music? It sounds like a meat grinder on steroids!
Well I think it's a love song.
Love? What's love got to do with it?
That's a very good question. Wish I knew the answer.
Me too.
You think we ever will?
I dunno. I'll ask my girlfriend.
Lisa? Will she tell you?
Maybe. If she ever returns from the matrix.
Big if, dude.
I know. Shit. Go ahead and. . .
Turn up the music?
Yeah. Way up. Maybe she'll hear it.

Parallel Universe

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Tue, 06 Oct 2026 21:13:02 +0000

honeyj has posted:

How was your vacation, lord?
Excellent, archangel. I can't get enough of my lake. I outdid myself in creating that one.
Many humans would agree with you.
There were a few there as well.
Did you, er, reveal yourself?
Oh, no. Just used my typical subterfuge, pretending to be a mediocre lawyer from Detroit.
Cool.
They had no clue they were in the presence of the lord.
So. . . no lightning bolts?
Well, I can't say none. But I was quite discreet.
Speaking of which, wasn't Aphrodite there with you?
She may have been. Don't you have something to do, archangel?
Yes, lord. On it. Totally.

Dark Matter

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Tue, 06 Oct 2026 19:41:10 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Where are we, Herr Doktor?
Good question, my boy. In fact, the only question.
Meaning what?
Meaning, take your pick of where you want to be.
Huh?
You see those portals, stretching into infinity?
They're portals? Ok.
It's my latest invention! Each one opens into a different version of the universe!
Cool!
And different version of you.
You mean. . .
Exactly. They're doors to the multiverse. An infinite number of doors! And you are going to be the first to visit!
M-m-me? But but how do I know which one to go through?
You don't. And once you're in, you're gone from this world.
Forever?
I promise to try and bring you back. Eventually.
But Doktor! I like the life I've got!
Oh tut tut! Now, off you go! I'll take a picture of you just before you disappear. Science!

Wicker Man

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Tue, 06 Oct 2026 19:39:13 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Are you here for the celebration?
Uh, sure! Celebrating what?
Go check out the inside that structure over there. You'l see.
What is that?
Go on! You'll see!
Ok.But, um, why are you carrying a torch and can of gasoline?
Oh these? Ha ha! Yeah. For the bonfire later. No biggie.
I see.
Just go on in there! You'll love it!
Actually, I'll pass.
But why?
You know what? I've seen this movie before.

Thought Police

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Thu, 01 Oct 2026 21:32:16 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Dude. That book you're reading.
What about it?
The author's been blacklisted by the Committee on Morality and State Security. I hear he's been disappeared.
No way. I like the way he writes.
Well, don't like it too much, if you know what I mean.
What, is somebody gonna check up on me?
You never know. Might've already happened.
Damn. I thought this was a free country.
Where'd you get that silly idea?
Must have been implanted.
Now you're making sense.
Really? That is so damn depressing.
True.

Penthouse

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Wed, 30 Sep 2026 18:58:07 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Stanley darling, be a dear and have the concierge bring up a bottle of champagne.
Of course, Edna. Would you like caviar with it?
No, just chips, thanks.
Chips?
Stanley, you know caviar is not in season.
How silly of me.
Really, dear. Try and pay attention.

New History of Time

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Wed, 30 Sep 2026 18:56:29 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Good morning, Herr Doktor.
My boy, I know just what the world needs most.
More sex toys?
What? No! We need a new history! The one we've got is completely inadequate. We're stuck with it, because it can't be changed. Until now and my new history eraser machine, that is. Ha ha!
But Doktor, don't governments try and change history all the time?
Precisely! It's called propaganda! All lies! But now I will be able to actually change history! However and whenever I want!
Can you make it so someone was never born?
Let's see! Sit here. I'll attach these tiny electrodes, like thus.
And then what, Doktor?
And then, I push this, and. . . bye bye.
B. . .
Mein Gott! It actually worked! He's gone! And I forgot to ask if he brought me a sandwich. Oh well. Science!

Tell Someone Who Cares

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Sat, 26 Sep 2026 18:11:37 +0000

honeyj has posted:

What's up, Egon?
Oh hi Lars. I just got home.
Where were you?
Same old place.
Your favorite abandoned car plant?
I love it there. Busted by security again, of course.
Really? What'd they say this time?
The usual stuff. "Hey buddy! You can't be in here!" Etc.
No shit. You say something back?
What do you think? Need a hint?
No, pretty sure I got it.

Express Stop

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Thu, 24 Sep 2026 15:08:48 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Excuse me. What time does the next train get here?
You're waiting for a train?
Well yes. The express stops here, right?
You see this pile of collapsing rusty steel over here?
I do.
What do you think that is?
Uh, the station?
Wait. Are you an SL guy?
Yeah!
Shit. So I somehow got dropped into the matrix. I assume that means this isn’t really air we're breathing?
Correct.
Got it. Ok. Here's what you do: go round to the other side of this heap of rotting debris.
Is that where the train stops?
No, but I'm hoping it'll let me escape your fucking fantasy world.

Speaking In Tongues

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Wed, 23 Sep 2026 19:33:26 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Hey Mel, are you coming to church today?
I would, Jerry, but the service was kinda weird last week.
What do you mean, weird?
Man, it was like they were speaking another language.
Oh, yeah, it gets like that sometimes. Cool, right?
Not really. I felt like I was trapped in a room with a bunch of aliens.
Yeah? Maybe you were.
What?
But don't tell anybody. If you do, we'll know.
That's kinda scary, dude.
I'm just saying, be careful, if you receive my meaning.
My antennae are picking you up loud and clear.
You have antennae too?
No! Do you?
Of course, but I don't brag about it.
Probably a good idea.