Photos, videos and docs of honeyj

Agent 22

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Sun, 05 Apr 2026 20:29:57 +0000

honeyj has posted:

We have a new assignment for you, Agent 22.
Swell. What is it?
We have been getting reports from our American friends. . .
What did they manage to screw up now?
They've lost one of their best agents.
Which one?
Agent 38-24-36.
Her? She would be hard to misplace.
Nevertheless, they can't locate her. You are to do so.
And when I find her?
De-brief her.
I'll try. Except that she usually doesn't wear briefs.

RIP Jimmy 10/27/47 - 8/11/12
I love you

Gentlemen's Club

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Sun, 05 Apr 2026 19:04:00 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Is Monsieur dining with us tonight?
Oui, Marcel. You may prepare my usual table, s'il vous plait.
Very good, sir. Would you care for an apéritif?
Oui. And a cuban cigar.
And for dinner, sir?
I'll be having a whole hog, thank you.
Toasted? Or broiled, with pecans, perhaps?
No just bring me the hog and a butcher knife. I'll take care of the rest.
Very good, sir. I'll have one brought around.
And a bucket. A big bucket.
As you wish, Monsieur.
You might want to tarp the area too. This will be somewhat. . . messy.
I shall see to it immediately, Monsieur.

A Moose Bit My Sister

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Sat, 04 Apr 2026 18:28:24 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Good morning, Herr Doktor.
Ah, there you are my boy. Just sit here if you please.
What's going on, Doktor?
It's my new experiment involving moose as crash-test dummies. Groundbreaking, eh?
You said, moose?
Now just sit still while I strap you in. Impact velocity will be somewhat extreme.
Impact? But where's the moose?
Oh, he's right over there. That's what you'll be crashing into. Now I suggest you close your eyes.
Wait! If he's the crash-test dummy, what am I?
Expendable I'm afraid. I love science!

Make Noise Not War

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Sat, 04 Apr 2026 18:27:13 +0000

honeyj has posted:

You guys ready for the leader's big parade?
We're ready, dude.
Who brought the stink bomb?
Right here. And I managed to find a way cool air horn.
Awesome. Check out these rotten eggs. My mom made them!
Righteous! Your mom rocks!
Yeah. She's across the street; she'll be screaming some nasty shit at that asshole.
I love family togetherness.
Me too, bro. It's way comforting.

Film. 1969.

Kompromat

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Thu, 02 Apr 2026 21:17:31 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Good morning, sir.
I hope it is, Yevgeny. Anything to report on our favorite asset?
It's better than we could have hoped: it's been years but he is still following our instructions to the letter.
Well, he knows what will happen if he doesn't. Nothing like the threat of a few 8 by 10 color glossies to get things done. In fact, if he continues we may have to award him a Hero of the Russian Federation medal.
Ha ha! It's pathetic how he'll do almost anything to get a medal, or any kind of trinket. No matter who gives it to him.
Especially if it's gold, eh, Yevgeny?
No mystery there, sir.

Isotropy

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Tue, 31 Mar 2026 19:59:21 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Pardon me, but where is this place?
Whaddya mean. Can't you read?
Oh, yes, of course. I see that. But where is this place?
This place is right where you're standin', bub.
Yes, but, you don't understand. Where is it?
Oh, I get it. Well, it's in the Milky Way Galaxy.
Yes?
Amid some 47 other galaxies, like Andromeda and Triangulum.
Ok, Now I understand. That makes it about 3 megaparsecs to get home. Much obliged.
So, you taking this train?
No, afraid not. It doesn't go to my stop.
Figure'd you'd say that.

To Hell and Back

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Tue, 31 Mar 2026 05:59:56 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Evening, Gordo. I haven't seen you on your bike recently.
No. I'm trying to forget that last ride.
Whaddya mean?
You see these scars?
Whoa dude! Nasty. You in a fight at the bar?
Not a bar. Not around here.
Tell me the other guy looks a lot worse.
That's the thing. It wasn't a guy.
Not a guy?
No! And not human. This terrifying giant grinning thing appeared out of the darkness. Forced me off the road. I can't remember anything after that, including how I got back here.
Damn.
I hope to hell I never see anything like that again.
It's a crazy world out there, man.
Yeah. Do you happen to have any raw meat on you? It's strange. I've been real hungry lately. Especially at night.
You don't say.

Kings of the Wild Frontier

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Sun, 29 Mar 2026 18:15:46 +0000

honeyj has posted:

This the new hideout, Jake?
It shore is, Clem. That posse will never find us in these here rocks.
Hope not. They're pretty good trackers, I hear.
Let 'em try. We'll just camp out for the night.
Ok by me.
Say, pardner. I been meanin' to ask: what's that there fancy-lookin' gadget you got hanging off your saddle?
This here? Why it's what's known as a GPS device.
A what?
GPS. Global Positioning System. You see, it allows the low-orbit satellite to always know where I am. Yessir, it's positively foolproof if someone needs to. . . uh, needs to. . . that is, find me.
Did you just say what I think you said, Clem?
Dammit, Jake. I reckon this ain't such a great hideout after all.
You know something, Clem? I miss the 19th century. I surely do.
Amen to that.

Neuro-Divergent

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Sun, 29 Mar 2026 05:14:34 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Hey Eddie, you wanna get some breakfast?
Whaddya mean, breakfast? It's like 3:00 in the afternoon!
You got a point you're tryin' to make there, Eddie?
Well, yeah! Most people, I mean, normal people, eat breakfast in the a.m.
You sayin' I ain't normal, Eddie?
Actually, I am sayin' that. Is there a problem?
No problem. But I still want breakfast, ok? So to get back to my original question. . .
You buyin?
Yeah, sure.
Ok weirdo, let's eat.

Chaos Theory

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Wed, 25 Mar 2026 21:28:33 +0000

honeyj has posted:

How are things on earth, archangel?
Dismal, lord. Humans refuse to take responsibility for their actions.
An old story.
What should we do, lord?
Nothing.They'll have to figure it out.
And if they don't?
It'll be very messy for a long time, I'm afraid.
But what about the earth, lord? You made it.
And I flooded it. It looks like it's gonna flood again at some point.
Is there another Noah to build an ark?
Forget the ark. That was a bad idea.
It saved the animals.
People too, though. My mistake.
So no ark?
No ark. Been there. Done that. Time to move on.
Still, I wish something would remain.
Oh, I imagine even humans can't destroy everything.
Really, lord? I'm not so sure.
Me neither, actually.

Supreme (Mis)Leader

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Tue, 24 Mar 2026 21:10:03 +0000

honeyj has posted:

What's on the agenda today, boss?
I'm thinking of demolishing part of the house, Louie.
What? Why?
I want something bigger. Fancier. More about me.
But boss, this place is unique! A veritable work of art!
Art? What art?
All that stained glass! How you gonna replace that?
Forget glass. I want gold.
Right. Gold.
Take the truck to Home Depot. Everybody says they got gold ornaments.
It's fake!
What did you say?
It'll be beautiful, boss. The best.
Damn right. I have the best ideas. Everybody says so.

Castle Bravo

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Mon, 23 Mar 2026 17:30:15 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Aren't we too close?
Nah. It's only gonna be 6 megatons. No biggie.
I dunno. Lithium-7 can be kind of unpredictable. Could produce a much bigger blast. And then. . .
Then I guess we better not forget to duck, right my man?
You really think they know what they're doing?
It's 1954! The atomic age! What could go wrong?

Deeper Meaning

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Sun, 22 Mar 2026 20:40:01 +0000

honeyj has posted:

How are you today, Herr Doktor?
Ah, my boy! Just in time to share in the glory of my latest scientific publication!
That's great! What is the topic?
It's a deeply penetrating and comprehensive examination of rectal foreign bodies!
Of. . . what?
Exactly! I've examined reports of, among other items: seven light bulbs; a knife sharpener; two flashlights; a snuff box; an oil can (with potato stopper); a jeweler’s saw; a frozen pig’s tail; a tin cup; beer glass; and a remarkable ensemble of wire-rim spectacles! Truly amazing, eh?
Er, wow!
And that last guy, afterwards says he still can't find his shades! Doesn't know where he left them! I mean, you can't make this stuff up!

The Barbaric Slaughterhouse Once Known as Humanity

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Sat, 21 Mar 2026 20:30:32 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Hey, Joey, did ya hear about Gordon?
What about him?
He and Rosie applied for a mortgage on their new place.
Yeah?
And they were rejected, man! Can you believe it?
No! So unfair! What are they gonna do now?
I dunno, man. Their place needs a bit of fixing up too.
A bit; that's true.
Great place to party though.
The best!

Daze of Knights

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Fri, 20 Mar 2026 03:51:32 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Are you ready for tomorrow's tournament, Sir Knight?
Indeed, m'lady. May I be your champion?
You may. I will cheer for you.
Thank you madam. My steed and I shall stand erect in your honor.
Methinks, sir, you may be practicing that pose at present.
Ah. Er, yes. ‘Tis but a mere wardrobe malfunction, m'lady, no more.
One hopes you will put such 'malfunction' to better use on the morrow.
Yes m'lady. Of course. Very good advice.

Headhunter

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Tue, 17 Mar 2026 20:33:47 +0000

honeyj has posted:

He's in there, Sol.
Really, Frank? You think?
You go around. Flush him out to me.
Then what?
Then he delivers the goods.
Not a nice way to treat a DoorDash guy Frank.
He'll get over it.

Intermediary

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Tue, 17 Mar 2026 00:59:58 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Who are you? Why have you come here?
I'm not sure it can hear you, sir.
Of course it can, Dexter! And it's gonna tell us what its objectives are!
Sir, there's something very, I dunno, alien about it.
What, like. . . Mexican?
No sir. I mean it may be, you know, extra-terrestrial.
Of course! Which means - good heavens! - it arrived here completely evading detection by our Space Force trackers!
If it could do that. . .
There could be more!
Millions of them, sir!
We have to act fast, son. The future of our species is in the crosshairs.
What are your orders, sir?
Get me a wrench and a screwdriver.
Sir?
I've got an idea to scare this guy into talking.

The Likes of Us

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Mon, 16 Mar 2026 02:16:49 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Hop in the car, Edna.
Where are we going, Stanley?
You know how you've always wanted to have a little place to get away from it all? Well, I found it! It's ours!
Oh, Stanley! Really? What's it like?
It's perfect! Cute! Discreet! Tucked away and almost invisible!
I can't wait to check it out!
We're about 2 miles from it now. You’ll be able to see it any second.

Angels Flying Low

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Mon, 16 Mar 2026 01:03:57 +0000

honeyj has posted:

There they go again.
Who?
My former classmates at angel school. Show-offs.
You're an angel?
Would be if I wasn't kicked out. Look at them. They're just rubbing it in.
Really? That wouldn't be nice; but aren't they just, you know, clouds?
No. And trust me. They've got it made. They don't have to be nice.
But if they're angels, by definition they must be perfect, right?
Don't believe everything you read.
Bummer.
Tell me about it.

Blind Chance

nobody@ipernity.com (honeyj) — Sun, 15 Mar 2026 01:08:52 +0000

honeyj has posted:

Boss, that posse is closin' in fast. You got a plan?
I surely do, Slim: we keep a-riding through this here arroyo. Come out the other side. We'll be long gone afore they figure out where we went.
Good idea, boss, except for one thing.
What's that?
This here's a blind canyon. Only one way in, and one way out.
You don't say?
That's a fack.
Well sir, I wish you'd a-told me that before we led the horses all the way in, what with that posse breathing down our necks.
I was fixin' to, but figured you knew what you were doin', you know, bein' the boss 'n all.
I guess that's natural. Truth is, though, this is my first bank job.
Is that so? You never mentioned that in the job interview.
Well sir, it is. And from the look of it, it's gonna be my last.
That's just a darn shame. I truly thought this gang had potential.
Looks like it's gonna be the end of a rope for us, Slim.
A cruel fate, and I am truly sorry to hear you say it.
That makes for the two of us, I'm sure.