Articles from Jim O'Neil

Red Neck Buddha Cones:

nobody@ipernity.com (Jim O'Neil) — Wed, 13 Mar 2024 21:24:06 +0000

Jim O'Neil has posted an article:

Red Neck Buddha Cones:

So! For many years I’ve been impressed with Zen Buddhism and zen koans (short, sharp, arguments illogically leading to enlightenment), so, so, so here are some of that pecker wood cracker, Bubba’s, Cones

The Crud Cone

We find Billy Bob watching then walking up to Bubba, who’d been sitting on the general store stoop listening to Weird Willy most of the morning.

Billy Bob; “Bubba, what for you waste the mornin’s daylight listenin’ to that no account Weird Willy? Ya knows he’s tetched in the head and most all he says don’t make no nevermind.

Bubba says, “You got that right Billy Bob come walk with me a piece.”

They walk past the crossroads and Bubba takes a trail, not much more than a rabbit meander up toward a ridge.

Billy Bob grumbles, “Dang Bubba you wasted the morning listening to Willie and now we’s stumbling l’ong through rocks and brambles ‘n most the afternoon’s lights gone too!”

Bubba;“Wait for it.”

They top the ridge, reach an open glade, hushed except for birds chirping and a magical sight, everything below sharp and highlighted by the sun’s golden glow. They just look and enjoy for at least 20 minutes.

Billy Bob; “Your right Bubba, it was well worth the hike, how’d you find this place?”

Bubba takes a sip from the mason jar of shine, he’s thoughtfully ought along, passes the jar to Billy Bob and says, “Weird Willy told me about here. You got that right Billy Bob, most all Willy says is crud, ain’t no account, sames true of most folks when you think about it. Yep, none the less I’ve yet to met anyone I can’t learn something from if I keep my ears open and my mouth shut.”

At the Xroads

Bubba & Billybob, walking to the bar.

Meet Sallymae at the cross roads.

Bubba; “How you doin’ Sallymae?”

& Sallymae spends 20 minutes ‘splain’ just how’s she doin’.

Later at the bar, Billybob: “Shucky darn Bubba whatfo

you waste so much time listing to Sallymae?”

Bubba: “I left her back at the crossroads

whatfo you still hear her?”

Net Worth

Billybob say to Bubba: “Hey bro, what’s most valuable

thang you ever had?

Bubba: “7 day dead catfish.”

Billybob: “7 day dead catfish, valuable?”

Bubba “Musta been. So valuable couldn't sell it

no matter what price I set”

Sounds of Silence

Billybob: “Bubba what you make of this here thang I just read;

"If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?"

Bubba: “Stand right over here Billybob and take a gander at that there rock at yo feet.”

Billybob stands lookin’ down at the rock, Bubba steps behind him & pushes a rotten

old pine right down on Billybob’s head.

When Billybob awakes, sez: “Whatfo you do that?”

Bubba: “Did you hear it?”

Findin’ the trail

Billybob asked Bubba: “Dang bro, where’s the trail?”

Bubba said: “Shucky darn BB, trail’s wherever yo foot is.”

Billybob: “Wheren’ can I read ‘bout it, puzzle it out?”

Bubba said: “Ifin you trys ta study it, yo looses yo way and

wander all over yonder!

Billybob: “Hey, ifin I don’t puzzle it how can I find the trail?

Bubba: “Just as ifin you busies yoself readin’ the music, you ain’t playin’ real country

but strum a lick, or put one foot front the other

you’s sure gonna find the trail.!

396 pounds

Bubba was weighing out a bale of cotton.

Billybob sez: Hey Bubba, I knows what’s wrong but what’s right?”

Bubba, he say: “396 pounds.”

20 Gauge

Bubba holdin’ his 20 gauge single shot pistol said: “Ifin you call this a pistol ya’ll don’t ‘stand

shuck ‘bout it so… whatsyagonna call it?”

One handed clap

Billybob asked Bubba what’s that there one handed clap he read about.

Bubba slaps Billybob up along side his head with the palm of his hand

“Get it?” Bubba says.

“Got it.“ Billybob answered.

Mind fields

Billybob said: “Them thar leaves ah movin’ .“

Jack said: “The wind’s movin’.”

Bubba said: “Seems to me it’s in yo heads.”

Family Tradition

Billybob asked: “Hey Bubba what’s yo family’s favorite tradition?”

Bubba: “Look at then thar scalawags hangin’ round the gate!”

Know nothing

Jack: “Hey Billybob whatfo you keep listenin’ ta Bubba he done

don’t know nuttin’.”

Billybob say: “That’s right Jake, ifin he don’t know nuttin’, he must know summthin’.

Long staff

Bubba: “Say Jack take this here walkin’ stick and stop yo stumblin’.”

Jack: “I don’t see no walkin’ stick.”

Bubba: “That’s the problem.”

10-99

nobody@ipernity.com (Jim O'Neil) — Fri, 27 Oct 2023 20:49:33 +0000

Jim O'Neil has posted an article:

Ten codes, police 10 codes are a common form of radio communication, passing along information or queries to other offices and the station. They useful due both the their brevity and limited knowledge of such by those they might not wish to follow their conversations. Common among those codes are; 10-4 meaning Affirmative, 10-10, Negative, 10-17, In Route.

10-99 is a code often used for special, specific situations by different police departments.

Up here atop the world in Fairbanks, Alaska, the local police would make a regular, nightly check of Birch Hill Cemetery. They’d drive to the main gate, unlock the padlock, re-lock it when they were inside. They then would drive through the cemetery and unlock the padlock on the back gate and leave.

Local kids found it humorous to put another padlock on the back gate, one to which the police had no key, and after they were past the main gate put an extra padlock on that one as well.

So! 10-99 became part of the local police code meaning “Hey, those darn kids, locked us in the cemetery again, sent someone up with the bolt cutters asap and let us out!”

vignettes

nobody@ipernity.com (Jim O'Neil) — Sun, 26 Feb 2023 20:03:44 +0000

Jim O'Neil has posted an article:

-----------------

On a dark and stormy night, far away and long ago, while forces good fought most valiantly upon the rocky the dusty, wind swept plain, against the evil hustlers, meanwhile back at the ranch, the hungry magician spelled the gold and cash to cake and candy and a fortune ate.

-------------

Encyclopedia Galacticta, Ancient Earth;

Among the many unsolved mysteries, Stonehedge and the electric automobile orbiting Terra. Why did those primitive ancients move 50 tonne rocks hundreds of miles and drive an electric car into space? Scientist attribute both to sun worship but so far a connection has not been found.

--------------------

Cadet Yankovich asked, “Ya’ll yelling at the yellow yumkin yonder?”

Captain Yuseabelly replied, “Yep youngster, yumkin’s in the yard yanking yottabytes.”

Cadet Yankovich, “Yonder?”

Captain Yueabelly, “Yep.”

Cadet Yankovich said , “Well shuck darn mon, why don’t ya tell the yellow yumkin to get off your lawn!” with a yawn.

-------------------

William the Conjurer, scourge of the spaceways subdued the Gordians. Asked how he passed the densely tangled Gordian planetary defense web he answered; “No problem, I had Big Alex check it out. He found it was old, dilapidated, worn and that it’s exceedingly easy to cut through a frayed knot.”

---------------------------

Blood Bart, the notorious space scourge, to escape the interstellar police and the galactic authorities, exited through a small crack in the wormhole to 2022 America.

He fully expected to receive a warm welcome in the Washington D.C. of that era.

After all, he was a thief in good standing.

---------------------------

Men of Andromeda, masters of their galaxy, though long lived were a dying race. Origins lost in a distant forgotten past and lifespans stretching eons, none the less their numbers slowly decreased. Dying until a team of their best scientists developed a replicator to create babies.

They named it woman.

-----------------------------

“Does reiving leave you grieving or does swash buckling find you chuckling?”, Princess Lea, of the galactic empire, asked Blackbeard the pilot pirate.

“Why neither or nor I’d have to say, as I specialize in pilfering pharmaceuticals ”, he replied, “Wrapping and pill aging takes up most of my time.”

-----------------------------

The Groan Ranger and his faithful Indian companion, Mahatma stood back to back fighting the fearsome Blumix of the Dgmd cluster in the Prbwz galaxy.

All was going well until the Ranger’s negligent back stroke resulted in Mahatma receiving a noxious nasty non-nugatory nick in the nape of his neck.

-------------------------

William the Kookier flew to Crete on wings of wax and feathers.

Unrolling a ball of string for a guide back outside he entered the maze.

“What are you seeking?”, whispered the Minotaur.

“The golden fleece on the altar therein.” Willie replied.

“On that table? That’s just my bull shirt.

-----------------------------

Two rocket Bob struck a pose, flag in hand.

“I claim this land in the name of…”

Bolts, his faithful robot sidekick interrupted, “Is sand land?”

“Of course, same as dirt is earth.”

“I’ll rephrase that,” Bolts rattled, “Is an interstellar cloud of sand with no place to stand land?”

---------------------------

The ten thousand mile long banner was readable from the edge of the solar system: “Welcome to Honest Hank’s affordable used satellite and space habitat Emporium. Honest Hank’s money back guarantee behind every sale! Time tested reinvested and refurbished. They may wiggle, they may wobble, but they won’t fall down!”

-----------------

Jore wasn't unhappy as first assistant to the obscenely fat and flabby head of Galactic Recoveries, Inc.

The position paid well and the perks, company space ship, etc., were excellent.

However he was somewhat disturbed that all the other employees referred to him as the chief crook and waddle washer.

-----------------

Over 6,500 light years from earth, having hyperjumped toward the constellation Taurus.

“Nova,” he asked, “why are you so crabby?”

She adjusted the astronomical projector on the bridge to present a ‘You Are Here’ holographic display.

She sighed, pointed, “Of course I’m crappy, you do know which nebula we’re in!”

--------------

Meanwhile, in the city of Liverpool, on the planet New new New England:

“ ‘ere ‘e is!”, shouted Flash’s bat boy, Herbert.

I don’t see him, his chameleon like camouflage is excellent! Are you sure, is he still there?” Flash queried.

“No Gov, ‘e‘s h’over there now.”. Herbert replied.

-----------------------

Elbaniatbo, the rather slow but lovable dyslexic faithful robotic sidekick of the famed throughout the universe Rone Granger, when seeking to disguise himself to infiltrate the nasty notorious nuts and bolts unruly ruffian gang carefully wrote and hung a large but tasteful sign on his chest saying, I’m Not Obtainable.

----------------------------

They stood behind the barricade, a lull in the hours long bombardments.

“Yesterdays, tomorrows, infinitely long”, said the sarge to the young troopers.

“You want to make the universe a better place?”, he queried?

“You’ve only a very narrow window in which to do so,” he went on, “called now.”

---------------------

The cherry tree, once blossoming and beautiful, lie wilted and broken upon the ground.

The dojo master, who had cared for and nurtured the tree from seedling to maturity demanded an explanation!

Young George relied; “I can not tell a lie Sensei I did it with my own little elbow.”

---------------

Dyslexic John and bass ackwards Al, finished building their rocket ship.

They climbed in at the launch site, and went through their countdown; 1, 2, 3, 4….

“We have ignition!” shouted Al as the rocket tunneled 30 feet in to the ground.

“Hey it looked good on repap.” John replied.

---------------

And on that dark and stormy night Sir Persevere said to his Page Pascal:

“Beware the worm wearing worn out warmers”

Pascal replied: “Willingly you words I wrote, spear in hand, sword in fist, pen in other hand and ax in the another, because forewarned is to be four armed.

------------------

Lars Solar drew his ray gun and shot Phil.

Stella asked Lars; “Why did you kill him, we just met him?”

Lars replied: “As you well know Stella, on this police state planet, spies and informers are everywhere, you can be sure to find one whenever more than two gather.”

------------------

Meanwhile in the drinking establishment next to the OK graveyard,

The Lone Zombie Ranger fell, struck by the silver bullet.

The body began to putrefy, the smell of rot filling the bar.

Taunter, his Faithful Native American Companion said: “I tried to tell you, some things are better left undead.”

----------------

They’d been friends for years, in spite of their different personalities, much to the surprise of all who knew them.

Louise Literal asked Danny Dyslexic; “Danny my friend, tell me, when are you going to finish building your house, you keep saying it’s almost done?”

Danny replied: “When figs ply.”

------------------------------

“On the Planet Nor, I had the pleasure of discovering and naming an interesting predatory plant,” said the extraterrestrial botanist, “that attracts it’s prey by voicing meaningless sounds.”

How interesting, what is it called?” queried the wide eyed young thing.

The Botanist replied; “Why the Flower of Babble, of course.”

------------------

“I never met your friend Maryann,” he said, “but from what you told me about her, of course I will be glad to put her in a song.”

He started, “One eye on the pot, the other up the chimney…”

“No!” she shouted, “I said wide eyed, not wall eyed!”

------------------------------

“Normally I try to write a cutey, perhaps a bit witty vignette that runs exactly, not one word more, not one word less, than fifty, and that includes, or at least alludes, to the provided prompt word.” he said.

“However, today, considering the state of the world, the lack of liquor in my cabinet and the price of tea in China, I doubt if I could bring my thoughts together even in I wrote 78 words.” he sniffed.

-----------------------------------

On a cold, calm and starbright night, pondering existence, I was sitting on a fence twix earth and sky. I asked; “What is the purpose of it all?”

The cat said; “Me”, so I cuffed him in the head, “ow!”

He should have realized it was a rhetorical question .

------------------------------------------------------------

On another bright and starlit night the Lone Space Ranger and his trusty sidekick Tom Cat, were surrounded. Star Lions to the left and right, Crater cheetahs before and behind.

Well old friend” said the Ranger, “It looks like we’re done for.”

Tom Cat replied, “What’s you mean, we, human?”

----------------------

Meanwhile back at the ranch, as was often his custom, on a dark and stormy night, Hank was quite busy building his combination table, stove, chair, ladder, liquor cabinet.

The adorable Jane asked him: “Hey, Hank, what are you gonna call it?

Hank replied: “Isn’t it obvious? It’s an AdapTable!"

----------------

One pill makes you larger? Who wants to be larger? Size matters and big might have advantages…

Another makes you small. Hum, could be OK I guess but…

The one’s your mother gave you, don’t do anything at all.

Stay like I am? Be me? That’s kind of slick, Grace.

--------------------------------

2021:

The four horsemen, War, Famine, Beasts, and Plague,

rode over the lower forty eight.

“I feel sorry for you of course, I’m saddened by your plight .” Said JiminAlaska.

“I’d like to help you but there’s really nothing I can do.” He said, sitting on top of the world!”

-----------------------------------------------------

“Stop the presses!” , he shouted in the middle of the Zoom conference.

None the less, the group proceeded as if he hadn’t uttered a word.

“Stop the presses!” , he yelled again, even louder, but again he was ignored.

“Silly me”, he chuckled, having accidentally hit the mute button.

----------------------

There is money in horror. It’s been her staple,

It’s worked for years.

She survived divorce and raised three children with it.

However her latest vampire vs werewolf story just wasn’t working.

Maybe, the opening line, “They fought tooth and nail”, just does not leave room for future story development.

--------------------------

Understand that the multi-ton Zszlems of Planet Vronoux are almost a mile tall. They have eyes on the bottoms of their feet (a necessity when that big, to know where they’re putting them).

Alas, sad to say ,when the first spaceship from earth landed, it was crush at first sight.

--------------------------

Entering the door, taking a breath and looking around,

Frank, the first customer of the day,

Found

It

Cool and extremely comfortable

Along the well lit

Corridor

In

Our small and snug but most

Unusual

Store.

He said. “Most efficacious”, as the first letter of each line came to mind.

-----------------------

Her eyes rolled as she read the title page of the galley proofs, shouting curses for all the cats and family to hear; “That (expletives deleted to protect the tender ears) dyslectic editor is at it again, just look at this, just look at this!”

“Sam Spayed, the Defective Dog”

-------------------------

The score was 6 to 5 at the bottom of the ninth.

“ Strike three, you’re out!”, the umpire shouted.

“Whatdaya mean, the catcher hadta jump 3 feet to catch that!” the batter rumbled.

“High pitch? High pitch? No way Goliath the ball was still a foot below your shoulders!”

------------------

The artist slowly and carefully shaped mounds on the beach. A large winged insect shaped and large, standing, rather striking, numeral one.

Many of the beach goers stopped to admire his work

“That’s beautiful, what do you call it?”. A passerby asked.

“Sand Up And Bee Counted.” The artist answered.

-----------------------------------

Ah yes, that reminded me of my dog, Pal, a red walker fox hound I had when growing up in south Florida. As most folks know dogs tend to get a lot of ticks in them down in that area.

Well, one day when I was pullin' ticks off of Pal, my Uncle Norman said to me; "Shucky darn boy just put a little gasoline on them buggers and they pop right out."

Well I went and siphoned a half pint of gas out of the old Chevy, and poured it on Pal's ticks.

He gave a howl and took off running about a mile and a half down the road, turned around smartly, came running back full speed and then some and fell over right there at my feet.

Well, over the years, telling this story with 5 or 6 folks listening, I pause right there and in just a few seconds someone was sure to say; "OMG, that's just terrible, was the poor dog dead?"

I'd answer; "Nope. Just ran out of gas."

____________

Her large living room was sparkling, operating room clean, as were the book cases along all four walls.

However the shelves were filled, overflowing, with stacked, loose, pages torn from the backs of novels.

Not unexpected, not surprising, quite understandable, once you realize that she is a book ends collector.

--------------------------

Sarah suddenly rose from her computer left her writing lair, ran in to the kitchen and grasping a small jar off the shelf she held it tightly to her heaving bosom.

When asked why all the excitement confusion and commotion she quietly replied; I just realized, my thyme is valuable.”

-------------------------

The twins are older now, I think while looking at the picture of Dory and Gray.

--------------------------------

A perfect pair, he, the will and the power and she, his compass.

The horror infected millions.

Ruth , before she succumbed: “Reduce the infection , save 10%. or destroy the virus and them.

Now, for him, a simple choice, he destroyed the virus because without her

he was ruthless.

-------------------------

A Cautionary Tale:

The last woman on earth sat alone in a room.

“The universe is not capricious” She said.

“Pedesis or Brownian motion” she said.

“Billions to one chance all the oxygen molecules will move to one corner of the room.”

She said as she gasped her last breath.

--------------------------

STICK

Sometimes we look too deep and

Too hard, digging far deeper than necessary.

It’s true and we all know this, though it is

Certainly most often misunderstood but

Knowing is often just enough.

----------------------------

“Excuse me sir, I can’t find anything in these large warehouse stores, where is garden fertilizer sold?”

:OK, just go down this lane to aisle 27, past the produce section, take a left, go 37 more aisles, a quick right and there you will find it, in the reproduce section!”

-------------------------------------------------

Sore where I didn’t know I had places.

The snow this winter; wet, heavy, bending, breaking trees across roads, trails. Love my isolation, nearest neighbor isn’t really near.

Cutting tree after tree to get the jeep to the road, I must be stupid, I know I’m sore, but I’m satisfied.

--------------------------------

There are a number of the shortest short stories ever around. Among them, “For sale: baby shoes, never worn.” attributed to Hemingway. Fred Brown’s, ” The last man on Earth sat alone in a room. There was a knock on the door…”

Mine is, Oh, look, I think that’s a….

---------------------

Angelia was crocheting mats for her guests to place under their drinks at the card table. As she was working, her friend Judy stopped by to chat.

Judy asked her: “What’s that one you’re working on now”

Angelia replied: “Lace of Spades.”

Judy groaned and hit her with a club.

---------------------------------

“In spite of everything, when the world collapsed in 2020 we saved the best of of civilization in this data cube!”

“That’s rather questionable” , she replied, watching the cube project a massive holograph of Fat Thor, wearing a lounge suit, singing ‘Hurt’.

She sighed and repeated: “That’s rather questionable”

--------------------------------------

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, on a dark and stormy night, deep within the Oort Cloud, the epidemiologist arrived by space scooter shouting “Fear not, I have the serum and I’m here!”

The rancher replied: “Dang Bro we called for a gynecologist, we’re having a lot of babies, not rabies!”

-------------------------------------

The old Alaskan saw as to what it took to made a cheechako (newcomer, tenderfoot) a sourdough.

Basically the requirements were; one had to urinate in the Yukon River, Wrestle an Ursus arctos horribilis and have sexual congress with a far north aboriginal lady.

So! Cheechako Skagway Sam, a cousin of Paul Bunyan, I suspect, traveled north, relieved himself in the Yukon hence raising the water level enough to free a sternwheeler stuck on a gravel bar ten miles downstream.

He proceeded up the bank toward Eagle, found a seven foot tall at the shoulder grisly bear and chased her into a box canyon. After much screaming, wailing, thumping, bumping, fur and torn clothing soaring high above the rim of the canyon he came back out and said; “OK gents, where’s that Eskimo lady you want me to wrestle?”

Yep, yep, yep, in this woke age, terribly inappropriate. Ok well....

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

For their science project, Johnny and Sally developed a peer to peer network, a mesh network, built using only organic links to replace the heavily compromised, very insecure internet. The judges did not award them first prize but they did admit, it took a lot of nerve to do that.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

The crowd laughed when he picked up his bow and said; “Now I will play the violent.”

Some one in the audience shouted; “Silly fool, you mean the violin!”

He said, with a chuckle and a cruel smile, “No I don’t.”, as he reached down and picked up an arrow.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Last night I dropped a friend off at the airport in Fairbanks, she’s returning to Japan. Driving back home during the first hour of the first day of October I noticed the aurora dancing overhead and my Jeep’s thermometer moving 2 or 3 degrees above or below freezing as the road’s elevation changed with the terrain.

Back home I increased the draft on my banked wood fire in the stove upstairs, went out and snapped a few shots of the Northern Lights dancing overhead, came back in, opened the doors on my Vermont Casting’s Defiant stove, and poured myself a shot of Jameson’s as a nightcap, sat in the dark watching the flames dance.

One October’s my birthday and I tipped my glass to the four score years behind me, life’s been good and Octobers are grand up here on top of the world.

----------------------------------------------------

Evening at the Door

(w/o apologies to T. S. Eliot nor his Morning at the Window)

All is quiet below the stairs

As the hall light shines upon the stoop,

We don our coats and leave our cares

Tabled, beside the curdled soup.

A breath of air cleanses soiled conversation

Tainted talk around a weary roast

Relieved by pleasant observation

Joy and life savored by the host,

Of those beyond the gate, outside the post.

------------------------------------------------

The Advocate finished dining with a brandy and dessert while reviewing the applicable laws and rulings on the holoscreen above the table.

He turned, remarking to his client: “This is truly a wonderful century to be a lawyer as, in today’s world one can have their cake and edict too."

-----------------------------------------------

dear editor

i won’t have any problem meeting the deadline,with this computer keyboard, hopping from key to key is much easier than when I started writing on a manual typewriter.

my only concern is that now too many other cockroaches will take up the craft and flood the market

archie

-----------------------------------------

It was a dark and story night, but that bears no relevance to the tale ,simply fills it to fifty words.

“Hey Mario, have another slice of da pizza” he said.

I shook my head.

“Come on pizon, have another”

I shook my head again

“What’s da matter, youse full?”

-------------------------------------

The fiesty young star troopers bellied up to bar in the Dank Dirty Dive at the edge of the universe.

Sargent Spook raising his glass toasted; “Live long and frost her.”

Hence Lieutenant Kirk, downing his drink, casually turned, shooting Martha The Mad Martian Mollusk with his trusty ice blaster.

_______________________

A perfect pair, he, the will and the power and she, his compass. The horror infected millions.

Ruth , before she succumbed: "Reduce the infection , save 10%. or destroy the virus and them."

Now, for him, a simple choice, he destroyed the virus because without her

he was ruthless.

___________________________

Sore where I didn’t know I had places.

The snow this winter; wet, heavy, bending, breaking trees across roads, trails. Love my isolation, nearest neighbor isn’t really near.

Cutting tree after tree to get the jeep to the road, I must be stupid, I know I’m sore, but I’m satisfied.

______________________________

A Cautionary Tale:

The last woman on earth sat alone in a room.

“The universe is not capricious” She said.

“Pedesis or Brownian motion” she said.

“Billions to one chance all the oxygen molecules will move to one corner of the room.”

She said as she gasped her last breath.

____________________________

STICK

Sometimes we look too deep and

Too hard, digging far deeper than necessary.

It’s true and we all know this, though it is

Certainly most often misunderstood but

Knowing is often just enough.

_____________________________

“Excuse me sir, I can’t find anything in these large warehouse stores, where is garden fertilizer sold?”

:OK, just go down this lane to aisle 27, past the produce section, take a left, go 37 more aisles, a quick right and there you will find it, in the reproduce section!”

Haiku(s)

nobody@ipernity.com (Jim O'Neil) — Sat, 07 May 2022 15:37:35 +0000

Jim O'Neil has posted an article:

-----------------

Alaskan spring time

May showers bring June flowers

A month late but great!

------------------

I’ve a marmot

Digging under my wood pile

My new neighbor

-------------------------

Today was warm

But nights are getting longer

So soon, winter.

---------------------

2020

A year we’ll all remember

But not fondly.

-------------------------

Morning sunshine

A long day among the spruce

Cool evening.

--------------------

Brew day today

I blend my White Nights Stout

And wait and wait.

------------------

Two cords firewood,

Spruce, birch a little alder.

Should last till spring.

*******

A light snowfall

Continuing day and night,

Deep snow cover.

*******

Heavy rain today

Silence is quite deafening

After the deluge.

*******

The fourth day of June

The sun shines after midnight

Home in Alaska.

*******

I am reading now

The Roar of Queen Srimala

A Buddhist Sutra.

******

Snow covers the ground

Mist shrouding the distant hills

Fine October day!

******

In the north country,

May showers bring June flowers,

Anticipation!

******

Snow slid off the roof

Sakura portends Japan's spring

Ours is avalanche!

**********

The snow is slipping

Falling from sun warmed spruce boughs

Not spring yet, but close!

******

Rose skies, east and west

As dawn lights up the arctic,

Fine winter morning!

***

I had my coffee.

Next, off to the polls to vote

Time to change the world!

***

It is today here

In Japan it's tomorrow.

Were is yesterday?

***

Early Saturday.

The sun hasn't come up yet

Lighting the wood stove.

***

The sun's in my eyes

and the wind is at my back,

walking through the snow.

****

You see it yourself

Some days are warm some days cold

$cience is $ettled.

****

Brown leaves are buried

'neath a layer of white snow,

Bare branches lament.

****

Seventy eight years

I've observed the passing days

Emerge from winter.

****

Gabby Gabriel

Gave Gordy green gruesome grubs

Gord gave Gabe glum gawks.

OK, not really haiku but some days seem to start this way.

****

Green red and yellow

Leaves covered with frost crystals.

Autumn frost magic!

***

Had a frost last night

All my flowers are wilted

Autumn in August.

***

A few yellow leaves

The nights are getting longer

My firewood's stacked.

***

We've more rain today

Rain means it's spring in haiku

Endless springtime here!

***

Large trees floating past

The river is at flood stage

Nature's spring cleaning.

****

Rain in Osaka

I head to Kansai Airport

Leaving storms behind.

***

Almost deafening.

Calling through the morning mist.

A heard of ravens.

***

Early summer rain

The low clouds obscure the view

Mountains are hidden.

***

Cool rainy weather

At Takanoko Onsen

Hot soak and sauna.

***

Hooligan Ravens.

Five O'clock in the morning.

Challenging the day.

***

At Sea Mount Castle

Watching rains sweeping Seto sea

Misty memories.

***

Down by the water

Sakura in my sake

At Tanukii's shrine.

***

Light dusting of snow

Only fresh tracks I can see

Are mine and the squirrel's.

***

Bright crystal islands

Ice floating on the river

Soon all will be still.

***

Walking in birch woods

Golden leaves fall behind me

I'm leaving no tracks.

***

Rain on a tin roof

A monotonous refrain

Remember summer.

***

Down at the river

Not one person notices

When the frog jumps out.

***

Big moose on the trail

Thinks that he has right of way.

I agree, turn home.

***

Yellowed leaves dropping

More and more each day as we

Rush in to winter.

***

Rain runs down my neck

Still this job need be finished

Before the snow falls.

****

Light frost on the grass

Smell of wood smoke in the air

Nice autumn morning.

"""

Chopping firewood

Bit of summer exercise

For next winter's warmth!

***

A blanket of snow

Hides all my summer mistakes

Now I can relax!

I thought it was spring

But the groundhog disagreed

Winter's six more weeks.

***

Sit sipping sake

Watch the rabbit in the moon

Above the gate tree.

***

Strong winds blew all night

Rainy day in Senrioka

No more Sakura.

***

Japan's sakura

Alaska's pussy willows

Harbingers of spring!

***

It's a lot of work

Getting ready for winter

but I enjoy it!

***

Reflections on the Green

nobody@ipernity.com (Jim O'Neil) — Fri, 31 Jul 2020 18:29:29 +0000

Jim O'Neil has posted an article:

Short story of my life to frame my thoughts on green: Born in Ohio, raised in Florida, lived in NYC for 4 years -which is the great reason I moved to Alaska.

Looking back on my Florida years I recall a certain discomfort that I just couldn’t put my finger on at the time. In retrospect I suspect it was the constant greenness, the lack of seasons I had experienced in my very early years.

New York City;

An interesting period, States of Emergency called over 3 inches of snow. Taking the ferry to Staten Island for a weekend camping trip and hopping on a bus in the dark of the evening, trying to look out the bus window with a topo map in hand, getting off in what we thought was deep woodland, setting up camp, in the forest, awaking in the morning to the sound of someone shouting “Fore!”

Alaska;

Spring’s the blink of an eye, the wild roses bloom, soon gone as the rose hips form.

Summer’s midnight sun, white nights, almost seeing the growth of brome grass as it gains inches everyday reaching up to five feet tall by fall.

Autumn, hectic autumn, so much to do before winter, so little time.

Winter; Snug inside, noting the snow go from blue to rose as the noonday sun barely peaks above the horizon. Trips to town to shop, dressed as if, or carting clothing for, a ten mile walk home at a temperature of -40°, ’cause that just might happen if the vehicle fails.

So! Over the years I’ve come to appreciate and anticipate the greens, the vivid spring greens that almost hurt the eyes, the softer summer shades and the comfort ‘neath that shade, the poignant green yellows moving toward a russet fall.

However looking back at paintings, sketches, pastels I’ve done over the years I notice my palette changed with the seasons; rich and vibrant in the spring, mellowed shades on summer works, frantic hues in autumn and soft, relaxing pastels in the long winter night.

Greens are good, quite good, in their season, in their place, in their time, but in a painting in a year, in a lifetime, the contrasts are grand!

And...

nobody@ipernity.com (Jim O'Neil) — Thu, 23 Jul 2020 02:57:24 +0000

Jim O'Neil has posted an article:

There are the times to try men’s soles not little naughty Nike girly walks.

Give me liberty and give me Def Leppard with a healthy helping of both Dylons.

Fire at Will, and Phil as well as the house atop the hill where they write that Marxist swill.

Oh say, can you see, nothing but graffiti?

This land is their land, unless we take a stand.

The herd is rot around the world.

Gory gory hell’s for you,

All for one and

One for the money.

Two for the bow

Three to hold

Fire ‘till you hear

The fright of their cries.

And.

Always.

Today.

Speak softly

but carry.

Rant #6858

nobody@ipernity.com (Jim O'Neil) — Sun, 21 Jun 2020 17:03:13 +0000

Jim O'Neil has posted an article:

Just as a thought exercise, I tried to recall the 20 year old me of 1958 and tried to look at America, the world, today from that viewpoint.

Space X, Falcon 9, the Dragon launch, etc., yep 20 year old me could appreciate and delight in that, a natural progression from the Sputnik launch in ‘57.

The population explosion? Of course, easy to understand and expected, seeing the almost exponential population growth following WW II.

Much of today, however, would be completely alien and absolutely inconceivable to that 20 year old me.

Just to mention a very few of the great many things that…

Grown women, and men, proudly walking the streets in pussy hats? Women proudly wearing full body vagina costumes on Washington Mall? Drag queens’ story reading in libraries and elementary schools? Racist to say all lives matter? Blacks demanding segregated dorms in colleges? Police standing down while a mob takes over their police station? A presidential candidate calling half the nation deplorable? Tearing down statures of Robert E. Lee, George Washington, Christoper Columbus and a missionary priest? Brand names, team names, street names, changed to avoid offending someone or other? People and groups barred from using Paypal, Visa, etc., because, though their business is perfectly legal, somebody dislikes them? A celebrity selling candles made to smell like her ____? A scientist’s life and works canceled because he wore a Hawaiian shirt? Banks refusing loans and bond support to anything dealing with the oil industry because carbon dioxide is bad? A world wide lockdown because of a flu and, amazingly, most people accepting and going along with it? The Governor of California mandating all people must wear masks in public? States requiring a 14 day quarantine of visitors arriving from other states? The need for more personal pronouns than just he, she, it? Money in your bank account seized and turned over to the state if you allow the account to remain inactive too long? Police able to issue you a Driving Under The Influence ticket if you’ve had 3 beers and are on your own property, mowing your own lawn on a riding mower? One must take off their shoes to prove they are not a threat to be able ride an airliner? One way aisles on supermarkets? Boys that “identify” as girls must be allowed in girls’ locker rooms? Medal detectors at grade school entrances? Criminals released from prisons so they don’t catch a virus, church goers threatened with being sent to prison because they got too close to each other and might pass along a virus?

Yes, just a few of the very many things that make up today that 20 year old me in 1958 could not ever conceive and that me, today, trying to look at from my 1958 viewpoint, quite frankly, would not believe to be possible.

Tomorrow's built on Yesterdays

nobody@ipernity.com (Jim O'Neil) — Fri, 12 Jun 2020 14:31:40 +0000

Jim O'Neil has posted an article:

Past.

I suggest stocking up on the printed past before it’s lost.

I’ve a late 1800s edition of The Queen Of Republics,- Or A Standard History Of The United States on my shelf, an 1884 edition of The Worlds Cyclopedia and Library of Universal Knowledge and recently added a number early 1900s ‘how tos’ from Audels to my Audels shelf. Around 60 years ago I was able to bullshit my way in to a machinist’s job with buzzwords I got out of Audels’ Engineers and Mechanics Guide and avoid damaging lathes or milling machines or loss of face or fingers by referencing those guides, learning while I worked.

I contend that, with just the information printed in the volumes I noted above, once could, from scratch, rebuild a civilization to the early 20th century level.

Now, while the weather’s still a bit cool, I think I’ll go out, fire up my forge I made from a section of an old oil drum, and hammer out a set of tongs from some discarded rebar.

By the way; while I do have an electric blower I built attached to my forge and while I’m now firing with coal, if the fit hits the shand and I become (electrically) powerless, I’ve a hand operated blower I can attach and I can make around a hundred pounds of charcoal from three hundred pounds of wood.

Real. Lie. Manners. Philosophy.

nobody@ipernity.com (Jim O'Neil) — Fri, 29 May 2020 18:24:38 +0000

Jim O'Neil has posted an article:

First, I'm sitting up here on top of the world, North Pole, Alaska, looking down at the KungFlu fiasco, Minneapolis riots, California scheming, screaming, etc. and none of that has had much, if any, real effect today, on my day to day life.

It all, from here, of course seems unreal. I do allow that, just as a butterfly wing flap in Malaysia may predicate and progress to a snow storm in my back yard that, as I'm at the far end of a long supply chain, the giving up living to keep from dying in the lower forty eight might mean I won't find bread or beef in my local stores in November or December. T'ain't real today however, none the less I'm, of course buffering against that possible real tomorrow.

Somewhere, sometime, long ago and distant, someone pounded in to my head, with a ruler on my knuckles and/or a belt to my butt, that lying is just plain wrong! Three score and ten years later (I suspect I was right around ten when that happened.) I must note I still consider that truth to be self evident and, looking back, I've been more than willing to walk ten blocks out of my way, or even keep my mouth shut, to avoid telling even a white lie. Of course I didn’t always succeed, but I did, and do, try to tell nothing but the truth, even it it ain’t the whole truth. Can't say, even today, that my avoiding lying ever did me or anybody else any harm.

Grease is the manners that allows society to smoothly run. Shucky darn, even in that misplaced predicate/object sentence the concept comes across loud and clear, nuff said.

I've always defined philosophy, philosophies, as O&M manuals for living one's life. I include religions under that heading. Immanuel Kant and Gregorian chant serve the same purpose for different folks. I'll allow most of my philosophy is quite sophomoric, not surprising really as I, as most of us, began formulating it when I was a sophomore. None the less, my, and anyone's, personal philosophy is a work in progress, with deletions, addendums (Addenda, if you want to get picky about it though, addendums is considered acceptable as well.) and copious footnotes added as time passes and something approaching wisdom is gained. In spite of the copious addendums,footnotes and caveats my philosophy can be expressed in a few sentences: Take care of yourself and yours. Treat others fairly. Make some allowances for that guy if possible, after all, like me, he's just trying to get by. Most important, enjoy now, right now, really, it's all you've got!

Having said that, I'm heading outside to cut another cord of wood, getting ready for, just in case, November and December.

Rant #6,857:

nobody@ipernity.com (Jim O'Neil) — Sat, 09 May 2020 19:02:29 +0000

Jim O'Neil has posted an article:

Last night a friend asked if I was cranky while we talking and I said no.

Well that's not quite true, I meant I was not cranky with my friend. However the world in general and the massive failure of the international mail system, damn right that makes me cranky. Grumble. Grin.

I think the unprecedented, response to the covid19 fiasco will lead to the fall of civilization. OK, perhaps I indulge in hyperbole, but, on the other hand, maybe I'm understating the problem.

This mail system failure is an example. Japan will not accept mail from certain countries. Same is true with the States. Even between US & Japan, mail transfer, as I read , is impossibly, abominably, unacceptably slow!

Oh I understand the reasoning behind the initial reaction to covid19; As it possibly (probably) was created in, and escaped from a bio-weapons lab in China, hesitating, stopping everything, for a short period until we see if it's going to destroy all life was a good thing. However after the first week or so by early March at the very latest, we have had a rather clear understanding of the disease, it's vectors and it's potential morbidity and moralities.

So! Way back then everything should have returned to normal, international passenger planes should have started flying, barber shops should have been opened, folks that wanted to go to Las Vegas to throw away their money should have been allowed to do so, etc.

Yes, everything should have gone back to normal, the exception being we clearly understood what segment of the population was/is vulnerable (Folks with four score years behind them,such as me, etc.) and they should have been protected or allowed to protect themselves but, but, but let everyone else go on with their lives!

Destroy, delimit, curtail the economy, force workers to huddle in place rather than work and produce goods, foodstuffs, clothing, fuel, mail delivery, etc., and far far more people are facing starvation, injury, disease, freezing, etc., resulting in several orders of magnitude higher levels of death and destruction than could have been caused by winnie the flu.

Also, Grumble. Grin, after we stopped talking and my friend left, I tried to back up my computer and ran in to a software problem that kept me up after one in the morning! Grumble. Grin.

I do consider the mail failure as a bellwether of possible things to come: The world economy is so complex, convoluted and interconnected that, for example, a crop failure in Kansas or Illinois can affect the price or, or even the availability of, beef in Japan and/or England.

“For the want of a nail the shoe was lost,

For the want of a shoe the horse was lost,

For the want of a horse the rider was lost,

For the want of a rider the battle was lost,

For the want of a battle the kingdom was lost,

And all for the want of a horseshoe-nail.”

& the international mail could just be that nail!

Grumble. Grin.

So! Have a nice day! -BIG GRIN-

My thoughts concerning SARS-CoV-2, COVID-19 and abcdefg2020.

nobody@ipernity.com (Jim O'Neil) — Thu, 19 Mar 2020 16:26:51 +0000

Jim O'Neil has posted an article:

Why thank you world, frankly I’m quite flattered.

However I do feel it’s a bit much that you put the majority of folks out of work, close schools, restrict travel, transport of goods, sell out all the rolls of toilet paper in the nation, cancel public discourse, shut gyms, restaurants, bars, churches, etc., all just to protect little old me!

It’s also rather nice that, to ease any feelings of guilt I might develop seeing the world stop just for me, that you state these actions are quite necessary to protect all from the China virus.

However in so far as from the information available, assuming one catches it, and data suggests that over 80% of us won’t, it’s quite clear that those of us over 80 (Myself and the few others that make up less than 3% of the population.) have around a 15% chance of dying if hit by the kung flu. Of course others can and will die from the beer virus as well , those 70+ year old, 10% chance, 60+ 5%, but the vast majority of folks, the rest of you way less than 2%. 2% risk? Here, hold my beer.

None the less it seems that to protect the largest at risk group, the 3% of us over 80 you’ve stopped the world. 3% of the population, let’s see, that’s me, my friend Richard, maybe John, though he may only be 79 and just a few, very few, others.

Again, thank you ever so much and I am quite, quite flattered but.. don’t you think it would be easier and put far less strain on the rest of you if you just go on with your lives and ask me, and perhaps my friends over 60 to stay home for a while? Shucky darn, you could even do things to make our lives at home easier and more satisfying, maybe deliver food, etc. to us (meals of wheels, there’s a unique concept.).

I suspect most of us would be willing to do so, to stay home at least until the liquor runs out and we’ve down to our last 47 rolls of toilet paper and if we don’t & we die, hey it’s not your fault. We are adults, and must accept responsibility for our own decisions, even, especially, the stupid decisions.

Again, I say again, again, I am, of course, quite flattered, but you shouldn’t have.

Seriously, very seriously, quite seriously, you shouldn’t have!

Way back in my day!

nobody@ipernity.com (Jim O'Neil) — Mon, 04 Nov 2019 19:41:55 +0000

Jim O'Neil has posted an article:

Hum. Back in the late forties, early fifties, we built a house and lived down in Perrine (It’s spelled Perrine, but everybody pronounced it PEErine.) in Florida, between Miami and Homestead. It was piney woods country, not many houses back then, not too many people.

I was 11 or 12 at the time and had a dog, a Red Walker Foxhound, named Pal.

Well, as happens in the piney woods, Pal used to pick up ticks that had no trouble working past his short fur and sucking his blood until their butts were almost as big as a grape.

My uncle Norman, who grew up in south Florida and knew the country well, told me you don’t want to just grasp a tick and pull it off a dog as that leaves the head stuck under his skin and it festers becoming a running sore. He said the best way to get the tick out was to pour a little gasoline on it’s butt and it pops right out and you can stomp him dead then.

So, I siphoned off about a cup of gas from my dad’s truck and poured in right over Pal’s tick. Pal let out a yelp and took off running, it must have been at least a mile and a half down the road, turned around, came running back and fell over right at my feet.

Well, every time I’ve told this story, over the years, with at least five people listening, one of them would ask me; “Oh how terrible, was the poor dog dead?” and I’d explain to them; “No, he just ran out of gas.”

***********************

I admit I'm smiling reading youngsters writing nostalgically about how nice south Florida was 20-30 years ago, way back in the ‘90s.

Mine was the Florida of the late '40s and the '50s.

I grew up in Coral Gables, then down in Naranja, then back up on Bird Road then on SW 34th Street, where our back yard ended the glades began, with nothing but glades from there up to Tampa.

Even in the Gables there were many vacant lots where we could set up sand lot baseball games.

Down in Naranga, our nearest neighbor had the ten acres next to us, next nearest neighbor was probably over three quarters of a mile away. I remember, when I went to Redland Elementary school, a kid that would walk to school, barefoot through the pineywoods with his shoes hanging by the laces around his neck, sitting on the steps, picking the sand spurs out of his feet before putting his shoes on to go in.

Bird Road; we were close enough to the race track, Tropical Park, that when the wind was right I could hear their loud speakers calling the horse races. There was a rock pit nearby, off the edge of Bird, were we'd go swimming. We shared the pit with a 6-7 foot gator, look for her, if she was basking of the far shore we'd be in the water, lose sight of her, we'd be up on the shore. We never talked about it, never made a decision to keep it a secret, but somehow the fact that we shared the rock pit with a gator was a subject that never came up talking to our parents.

Old Tom was, of course right, you can't go home again, but I moved to Alaska so my children could experience growing up pretty damn close to what I enjoyed in Florida. Yep the weather can be a mite cooler and the encounter stories they'd wait until long after to tell as were about bear and moose instead of alligators but they had a childhood much like the one I remember down in Dade County.

Devolution, a tongue in cheek modest suggestion

nobody@ipernity.com (Jim O'Neil) — Tue, 29 Oct 2019 19:26:05 +0000

Jim O'Neil has posted an article:

Yes, evolution is a theory. Yes, there are blank spots, weaknesses, holes in it. However overall it's a useful tool to explain and delimit our surroundings.

I still remember spelunking, over 60 years ago, in Florida caves and finding, with delight, blind insects and blind fish.

I remember then, at University of Florida, in Gainesville, seeing blind cave fish in a professor's aquarium and learning that, in two or three generations, in a normal, not perpetually dark, environment, they regain their sight. That's 2 or 3 generations later, not the first generation born in a normal environment.

This seemed, to me, more like Lysenkoism than Darwin’s evolution. The explanation the professor gave was gene potential, however I still have a hard time wrapping my head around the concept that said gene potential needed at least a couple of generations to be triggered.

Another curious, in my opinion, evolutionary fact is shoulder blades. We all have them, humans, dogs, birds, alligators. It's quite logical we have them, descended from monkeys, shoulder blades are great for hanging and swinging around on tree limbs. One could say shoulder blades. scapulae, are specifically designed for hanging from limbs. However for walking on the ground, a pelvic girdle sitting atop legs is a better design so why don't four legged walkers, if they came first, have two pelvises?

Now if one wanted negate at least the Cambrian Explosion confusion and push back the DNA enigma; I modestly suggest rather than evolution, perhaps we devolved from a higher life form. Instead of Ontogeny recapitulates phylogeny, Phylogeny recapitulates ontogeny.

OK, assuming there was no pre-Cambrian life, just a warm ocean soup full of nutrients, a bipedal space creature, descended from some arboreal limb swinger, crashes, dies and is dissolved in the ocean soup leaving hundreds of millions bipedal DNA patterns floating therein. As said ocean soup is not a suitable environment for a surface walking, air breathing light sword swinging, etc., the first trilobite on earth is born instead and within it's germ plasm is, potentially, Buck Rogers waiting to be born when the environment is right!

Why yes, devolution would explain a lot and, once you factor in DNA degradation due to radiation, sublimation and reiteration, it's quite understandable why we ended up with Bernie Sanders, Hillary and Occasional Cortex (& a few posters herein that I'm far too kind to mention by name, of course.), instead of Buck Rodgers.

High Steel In The City

nobody@ipernity.com (Jim O'Neil) — Tue, 18 Jun 2019 18:13:28 +0000

Jim O'Neil has posted an article:

I was talking here with a digital friend, Gray Wolf , a gentleman quite, rightfully, proud of his American Indian heritage and it brought back some memories from the early sixties in NYC.

At the time I worked for a time lock company and this story starts with me shooting the bull with a fellow worker named Jim Cavanaugh.

While talking it came up that he originally wanted to be a high steel worker, one of the guys twenty or many many more stories up riveting the sky scrapers together.

He’d spend his days sitting in the Local 580 (If I remember right) union hall, trying to get in the apprenticeship program, trying to get out on a job.

One day a steel worker, who Jim found out later was a Mohawk, noticed how long he’s been sitting, waiting and they got to talking. Jim told him he just couldn’t seen to get off the bench no matter how eager he was. Well the guy took a liking to Jim told him to head over to Brooklyn and talk with a guy he called the chief and tell him that he'd sent him.

Jim, having nothing to lose gave it a try. Turns out the ‘chief’ was in a part of Brooklyn called little Kahnawake, where Mohawk high steel workers lived and congregated. Seems Mohawks genetically lack acrophobia, fear of heights, and subsequently got in on the ground floor, so to speak, and dominated high steel work in NYC including building the Empire State Building.

Well, the ‘chief’ had a real say about who got hired, he called the union hall and Jim was out working high steel the next day.

End of the story; Jim found he wasn’t quite as comfortable as his new friend that got him working, standing on am eight inch girder, catching red hot rivets in a steel cone and setting them for the riveter to hammer home, -which is why we were able to have that conversation in the time lock company.

Eskimo’s Story 12/25/86

nobody@ipernity.com (Jim O'Neil) — Fri, 24 May 2019 16:39:00 +0000

Jim O'Neil has posted an article:

Met a nice Eskimo on the flight down from Prudhoe. He has just been elected village President (He didn't know about the election or that he was running until one of his friends called him and said, "ha ha, you are elected.) and was coming down to Fairbanks to negotiate $400,000.00 in back taxes for the villagers with the IRS.

He told me about how a shaman drummed his grandfather to death. The shaman beat the drum while walking 'round his grandfather's house five times and a blood vein burst in his grandfather's head. He said he guesses that's what his grandfather gets for stealing another man's woman -but he's kinda glad his grandfather did, else he wouldn't be here!

We talked about whale hunting. He says he feels safer on the ocean behind a whale than in Fairbanks (He owned six cars before he gave up driving. He didn't wreck them or anything, they would just stop running!). That the whale can only move his head around eighteen degrees & can only lift his "arm" around four or six inches. That if you know about whales they're pretty safe. But he saw one time, a skin boat got too close. The whale he lifted his arm only four inches but he picked up the front end of that skin boat twenty feet out of the water and the back end was out of the water too. The boat was broke, all the ribs stove in, where the whale's arm hit it but it still floated. It was lucky, he said, that the whale didn't hit it under one of the seats that somebody was sitting on 'cause it sure would have broke their back. That's when he found out how really good those old skin boats are by golly!

He said he was out another time alone when he was working with a geologist in the mountains near Barter Island (Near's a relative term, he's refering to the Romanzof Mountians,some 90 miles from Barter Island.). He was walking alone going up a pass when he saw a big Silvertip Grizzly sitting in the middle of the pass. The pass was between two loose gravel hills and he couldn't go far up the sides to go around the Griz. He was standing there trying to think what to do & the Silvertip was sitting there looking at him. Finally the Silvertip he snorted and then he took about three leaps up the gravel banks and sat there on side the hill. The Silvertip he looked at him and then slowly he turned his head and then he looked down the trail. The Silvertip he did this three times and then kinda snorted "what are you waiting for, man!". Well he watched the Silvertip and then took off down the trail then, lookin' at the Silvertip. He walked just as fast as he could without running and he went right past the Silvertip stepping in the hollow the Silvertip was sitting in before in the trail and the Silvertip just sat up there and looked at him until he was past and then the Silvertip he came back down and sat again in the same hollow. The Silvertip he didn't even sniff the tracks or anything, he just came back down and sat there again.

He told me another time he was out in his boat with his cousin and they saw a big polar bear. He looked at it and it would be easy to kill. He would shoot it in the ear after it got up on the ice. It would be easy for him to shoot it in the ear, -he shot seals there and this bears ear was as big as a dinner plate- so it would be easy to kill. He looked at it and looked at it and so did his cousin. It was a big bear. He figured if he did kill it he couldn't fit anything but the skin in his boat. He said to his cousin, "Moe, do you want that bear?". Moe said, "No, I don't want him, do you?" He told him how all they could haul is the skin so they didn't shoot him. Another boat came along and they asked them if they wanted that bear. They figured they couldn't haul it either. He said that in all three-four boats came along and let that big bear go that day.

This was on Monday, three days before Christmas, that we were flying down from the North Slope to Fairbanks. He planned to finish up with the IRS and fly back home to Barrow for Christmas. I told him he'd better make sure of his reservations because the plane will probably be pretty full then. He said he would but if he had any trouble he wasn't really worried 'cause his grandmother she would take care of him. She passed away twenty years ago but she would help him -she had helped him many times before when he needed it.

The Fall Of Western Civilization

nobody@ipernity.com (Jim O'Neil) — Thu, 31 May 2018 19:03:50 +0000

Jim O'Neil has posted an article:

Not darkness shattered by a sudden cry

But instead, an almost silent sigh

That’s quite absurd

But all that’s heard.

And another day dawns brightly

Over scapes that are unsightly

While we all pass by

And never wonder why.

The populace eschews the past

Noting that the future’s vast

Ignoring it’s chaotic

And rootless, is necrotic.

Great while it lasted

But everything passes

In death all are equal

There is no sequel.

A Little Literary Labyrinth

nobody@ipernity.com (Jim O'Neil) — Tue, 03 Apr 2018 17:48:05 +0000

Jim O'Neil has posted an article:

Down on the farm, in 1984

It was a horror show

But the oranges flowed like clockwork

Sprouting out from Dragon's teeth

Careful of the third wish.

And now today

They say

The way is gay

One should play

No matter what may

Yet I just read the words of dead Carl () and little rats feet

'cause nothing like us ever was.

Two legs are good for bitter or for wurst

Alex and his droogs are alive and sell

Lanny's sister's long gone dead

The soy boy a goyisch cup of Cheetos

While the rats shift and hieroglyph

the dust.

Which will soon be us

Our actions were quite rash

Our dreams turn into rust

But we still bring in the trash

In dog we trust.

Dyslexic septic shouts abound

Published as the latests sound

Played on the finest record brayer

For fusty dungeon dragon slayers.

Meanwhile Ozymandias

Look on, I'm mighty sure Budd

You can spare

A dime.

But on the other hand

Ain't nothing wrong with sand

You will reach

The tropic beach

If you trudge and don't begrudge

Herbert's Sandworm's right of way.

And then there's Fulghum's Alice

Perhaps his other Alice

Or maybe Alice Alice

Wishing and witnessing

The passing scene

Literature and labyrinths

Entrances and exits

Srophe

Antistrophe

Epode.

Exit, stage left.

Just Sayin'

nobody@ipernity.com (Jim O'Neil) — Thu, 08 Mar 2018 21:13:00 +0000

Jim O'Neil has posted an article:

Just sayin'

Sometimes I holler when the water's right

But most nows and knows I float the flow.

When on top the depth don't matter

and down I find my ground.

I had a lot to say about today,

yesterday,

But now the wind is blowing from the east

and handy as that is, I'll take another tack.

When all is said and done

Then all is done and said,

But then again, most often, one can appraise

and, perhaps, rephrase.

To clown or not to clown

But where's the rub

er nose?

A laugh a minuet, Pagliacci?

Just sayin'

Or playin'

and now for the bottom line:

___________________

Cork screw, who needs a stinkin' cork screw?

nobody@ipernity.com (Jim O'Neil) — Sun, 18 Feb 2018 20:45:05 +0000

Jim O'Neil has posted an article:

OK kiddies, story time:

Some years back, here in Fairbanks, Alaska, I was exploring one of the old cabins along the creek were the original gold discovery claim for this mining district is at. Two miners had obviously lived there as there

were 2 bunks, two stools, etc.

I noticed two deep dents torn and worn in to the small table edge, one on each side, which struck me as curious strange.

Checking outside, in the kitchen midden, garbage heap, I noticed it was mostly quart bottles, at least 70 or 80, probably a hundred or more, broken off at the neck. On closer examination I found they were all, each and every one, 150 proof Hudson's Bay Rum bottles that came with corks, not caps, back in the day. The ones nearest the cabin back door, the broken necks were rough and jagged, less jagged a little farther out, but all the rest, each and every one, one smooth, clean fracture line.

OK, putting it all together, the dents the bottles, those two miners, after a long day, would grab a corked bottle of rum and no stinkin' cork screw? No problem, they'd break the bottle against the table edge enjoy their after work rum and toss the empty bottles out the back door on to the garbage heap!

Again, looking at the kitchen midden, noting rough breaks near the door, smooth fractures farther out, they became quite skilled and adept at opening their evening tipple without a cork screw as time went by!

Having said that, I admit we're not the men that used to be. No I don't have a cork screw in my pocket, but I do carry one in my Jeep in case I need it. -grin-

File under craft behind the art

nobody@ipernity.com (Jim O'Neil) — Sat, 03 Feb 2018 19:57:41 +0000

Jim O'Neil has posted an article:

Why yes, you can "Fix" a charcoal drawing (keep it from smearing when touched) using cheap hair spray, rather than stinky fixatives from the art supply stores. I've been told the hair spray will yellow over time, but I've 30-40 year old drawings that show no color change.

Lately though, I've been fixing my charcoal drawing with urethane spar varnish applied with a brush. Of course your first thought is but but but, the brush will smear the charcoal all over the place!

Ha! not if you apply it to the back of the drawing, let it soak through the paper and hang it up to air dry.